A friend shared a link to this article - The Mistake I Made With My Grieving Friend by Celeste Headlee, which is an excerpt from her book We Need to Talk . The article struck a chord because I want to learn how to communicate better with people. (Especially with those I love since I have flubbed it badly in the past.) My public library had Headlee's book, so I checked it out. When it comes to listening and empathizing, it doesn't come naturally. According to Headlee's research, we are much more comfortable talking about ourselves. So when the topic of a conversation becomes awkward and we don't know how to respond, we default to what are comfortable with - ourselves. Don't believe this? Then just give it a try by noticing how many times you respond to someone with something about yourself. Headlee doesn't make this a hard and fast rule because there are times when sharing our own experiences can help. However, it's worth asking how much listening and ...