Tried With Fire

I'm reviewing Why Can't We Be Friends? at Out of the Ordinary today: There has been a lot of discussion about Why Can't We Be Friends? even before its release. There have been concerns that Aimee is advocating antinomianism (disregarding the moral law) in the area of friendship. I don't think this is the case at all. I believe she steers a theologically straight course between license and legalism, which is why I strongly recommend this book. She is not advocating permissiveness in our friendships. Neither does she give a list of cast iron dos and donts. Rather she raises the bar by encouraging her readers to look to Christ and what he has done on our behalf. It is through our union with him that the family of God can be family in holiness and purity. He sets the standard for friendship, not the culture. Read the entire review here.

(Lord willing, I will write a proper review of Why Can't We Be Friends?   at Out of the Ordinary next week, but I wanted to get these thoughts out that are in response to the book. For the record, I've been waiting for Aimee Byrd's book ever since she announced she was writing it. I've lost count of the times I've seen something on social media that would make me groan causing me to say, "Aimee, we need that book!" Having read it, I still concur. The church needs this book. ) Back when I was homeschooling, we were friends with several homeschooling families. We would get together for various activities and share the latest books or ideas that helped us. I remember a friend coming back from a convention so excited to find a book written by a brother and sister pair on how brothers and sisters can be best friends. She had a son and daughter in the middle school years who had trouble getting along, so she was hoping this book could help them out. As a mo...

I'm excited to be part of the launch team for Aimee Byrd's new book Why Can't We Be Friends?. The topic of biblical friendship brings forth strong opinions among Christians. Some say men and women cannot be friends because of the temptation to sin which affects our witness to the world. Others say we can and should be friends for the good of the body of Christ and our witness to the world. I am of the latter persuasion.  In many Christian circles for the sake of purity, cross-gender relationships are discouraged among teens because one needs to save one's self for a future spouse, not just physically but emotionally too. I get that this is a reaction to "casual" dating and to avoid immorality. Some avoid cross-gender friendships even after marriage. But this can set up marriage as the be all and in end all. It can also set up one's spouse as the sole fulfillment of every need - physical, emotional, and spiritual. (pg. 24) I'm still proces...

It's my turn at Out of the Ordinary today, and I'm finally posting my review of No Little Women : When it comes to women's discipleship, there is no shortage of ideas. Most people have an opinion about what it is, what should be taught, and even whether it is necessary or not. There is also no shortage of material that is marketed for this purpose. Some is good but much is not very good at all. What is the average Christian woman to do? Thankfully,  Aimee Byrd  has tackled this often sensitive topic in her latest book,  No Little Women: Equipping All Women in the Household of God .  If you are looking for tips on how to do women's ministry "right," there is helpful and practical advice to be gleaned, but this book is much more than that. Read the rest of the review here ...

The words "Jesus" and "God" are used by many, but what do those words mean? What does it mean to be a "Christian?" Is it okay to press for a clearer definition of those terms and how a person is using them, or is that being too nit-picky and unloving? Should we just take everyone and what they say at face value?  If we are upfront about our theological distinctives, we then have a platform from which to let others know what confessions we align with the most. This way, we aren't being manipulative in our conversations and with our teaching. With proper boundaries set in place, we can acknowledge where we agree and disagree, all with the common goal of sharpening one another according to the Word of God and the working of his Spirit. But this requires a resolve to take theology seriously , take ourselves less seriously, and desire to grow in a meaningful way. Pretending that we are all on the same page and overlooking important differences can only f...

I'm at Out of the Ordinary today sharing some helpful questions to ask about the books we read from No Little Women by Aimee Byrd. If I care about the nutritional value of the food I put into my body, then what about my spiritual diet? An author's claims about his/her book may look promising on the cover, but is it really going to nourish my soul or just give me the emotional equivalent of a sugar rush? ... The saying goes, "You are what you eat." Well, we may be what we read or, at the very least, strongly influenced by it. All the more reason to be wise and evaluate the spiritual nutrition of what goes in our heads. Read the post here .

I've been reading Aimee Byrd's new book,  No Little Women. So far, so good, and a review will be forthcoming, Lord willing. I did skip ahead, though, to the 9th chapter "Honing and Testing Our Discernment Skills." 1 Aimee shares four essential questions to ask about what we read, and then lets the reader put it into practice on excerpts from popular women's books. I'm posting more on these questions at Out of the Ordinary  tomorrow, so stay tuned. As I was considering Aimee's call for discernment, my gut feeling is that women are at a disadvantage in pursuing a life of the mind  because of past cultural norms. Therefore, we may be more inclined to accept rather than critique. But does evangelicalism even encourage this type of critical thinking in the first place? I may be wrong, but I believe it promotes the very opposite. If you read authors like Nancy Pearcey, Mark Noll, David Wells, and Nathan Hatch, to name a few, history has shown that Americ...

Look inside, examine it against the Bible (just cited verses don't count), and then see whether it is worth reading or not. Many Christians do not distinguish between a likable personality and the content of that person's teaching... A vital skill for becoming a competent woman is learning how to read well.  We need to be alert and equipped, because Christian bookstores don't have genre labels like "fluff" and "I may look like I have my life together more than you, but I am about to wreck your theology." You would be troubled to hear that women in your congregation were uncritically going on dates with random guys they had met, wouldn't you? What would you do in that situation? You would want to spend some time helping them distinguish between attractive traits and harmful ones. This is what we want to do with the books they are reading as well. No Little Women: Equipping All Women in the Household of God , Aimee Byrd, P&R Publishing, ...

I'm guest blogging at Housewife Theologian today. The topic of last week's episode of Mortification of Spin  was emotional and verbal abuse in the Christian home. After listening to the podcast, I couldn't get Todd Pruitt's question out of my mind: What is the dynamic that would prevent her [the wife in an abusive marriage] from going to an elder or going to a pastor and saying, ‘Please, please help’? I started typing like crazy, trying to capture some of the reasons why a woman won't ask for help. This is the result. Many thanks to Aimee for sharing my post on her blog. I hope it will raise awareness of what may be going on behind the scenes. Also thanks to the Mortification of Spin team for tackling this troubling subject.