Tried With Fire

I am slowly working my way through Forbearance: A Theological Ethic for a Disagreeable Church . This is such a good book about a very difficult subject. I would probably disagree with the author about quite a number of doctrinal points, but his book has challenged me in how I handle those disagreement. I have every reason to believe he is a brother in Christ and that we agree on how one becomes a Christian. So the question is how willing an I learn from him or another brother or sister in Christ whom I disagree with? And in real life, there's an additional question - how willing am I to invest in that relationship? In our families, we have to deal with disagreements all the time. No one expects perfect harmony between spouses, siblings, or parents and children. That's just being realistic regarding human nature and the process of sanctification. But those disagreements must be talked out for there to be peace and because we love one another . So for the sake of fighting ...

(Lord willing, I will write a proper review of Why Can't We Be Friends?   at Out of the Ordinary next week, but I wanted to get these thoughts out that are in response to the book. For the record, I've been waiting for Aimee Byrd's book ever since she announced she was writing it. I've lost count of the times I've seen something on social media that would make me groan causing me to say, "Aimee, we need that book!" Having read it, I still concur. The church needs this book. ) Back when I was homeschooling, we were friends with several homeschooling families. We would get together for various activities and share the latest books or ideas that helped us. I remember a friend coming back from a convention so excited to find a book written by a brother and sister pair on how brothers and sisters can be best friends. She had a son and daughter in the middle school years who had trouble getting along, so she was hoping this book could help them out. As a mo...

I'm excited to be part of the launch team for Aimee Byrd's new book Why Can't We Be Friends?. The topic of biblical friendship brings forth strong opinions among Christians. Some say men and women cannot be friends because of the temptation to sin which affects our witness to the world. Others say we can and should be friends for the good of the body of Christ and our witness to the world. I am of the latter persuasion.  In many Christian circles for the sake of purity, cross-gender relationships are discouraged among teens because one needs to save one's self for a future spouse, not just physically but emotionally too. I get that this is a reaction to "casual" dating and to avoid immorality. Some avoid cross-gender friendships even after marriage. But this can set up marriage as the be all and in end all. It can also set up one's spouse as the sole fulfillment of every need - physical, emotional, and spiritual. (pg. 24) I'm still proces...

The saying goes that "A friend in need is a friend indeed." Well, I writing at Out of the Ordinary today abut a true and safe friend. I was overwhelmed with a pile of work. I was stuck in traffic. I was tired and didn't know where I would find the wherewithal to "do it myself," but I couldn't see any other way out. It may not have been a full blown meltdown, but I vented my frustration. Initially, there was some relief, but that feeling was quickly replaced with shame. I should have known better. I should have done better. I shouldn't be feeling this way as a Christian. But here I was, and even though I knew the truth in my head, my emotions weren't lining up as quickly as I would like. Hence more shame. Thankfully, God came to the rescue in the form of a friend... Read the post here .

It's my turn again at Out of Ordinary : The women in my church have been getting together roughly once a month for Sunday night socials. Different ladies open up their homes for a meal followed by a time of fellowship. These have been fun times to be together and a great way to get to know one another outside of Sunday morning. My turn as hostess will be in October, and I'm already starting to formulate plans in my head. While I am a planner by nature, there is another reason for thinking ahead so early. Hospitality intimidates me. I have the usual reasons. I'm an introvert. My house is small. I don't have a dining room table. I'm too busy with work. I'm more of a throw stuff in a crock pot with a can of cream of mushroom soup than a gourmet chef. And so forth and so on. In addition to these lame excuses, there's also a lingering fear in the back of my mind of "not doing it right", whatever that nebulous standard may be. So it's no wo...

We don't know much about Peninnah in 1 Samuel 1:1-8, but the little we do isn't nice. Perhaps she was jealous of Elkanah's love for Hannah, but regardless, she used the family's annual visits to Shiloh to remind her rival of her childless state while surrounded by her own sons and daughters. So year after year, Peninnah rubbed salt in the wound to Hannah's great distress. The text doesn't say what went on at home, but I can't imagine it was any better.  It would be easy to say, "What an uncompassionate woman! I would never do anything like that!" Or would I? Before we condemn Peninnah too readily, we should perhaps reflect on the way public worship can indeed become a time for the raw exposure of our past sins, our failings, and even our struggles with the abnormalities of life. What should be an occasion of joy for the worshipper can become a time to be reminded of how one's life has been a series of disappointments. It is a frequent occ...

On Sunday evening, we had a full house. There were eighteen women crammed in my home for the church's ladies' social. It was a fun evening with great food, as always, lots of laughter and talk. We could divide between two rooms during the meal, but afterwards for the "serious" time, everyone squeezed in the sun room filling every available chair and parking on the floor. I picked the topic of Christian friendship because this is an area that I need growth. I'm close as I can be with my daughter which is a wonderful blessing, but God has also placed me in a local church with women who can help me in my walk and vice versa. That's not going to happen if I hold myself back and only let down my guard but so much. Sometimes it's conscious and sometimes not. Maybe that's why online friendships are a bit easier because you reveal even less of yourself in what you write. We had a great discussion. The women were candid, open, and I think we all wanted to g...

The Christian blogsphere is a big place, but in God's sovereignty, He brings people across your path. One such person is Diane Bucknell who writes at Theology for Girls . I've appreciated her wise posts, love of God's Word, and sense of humor. Diane and talented husband, Robert , were visiting Washington D.C., so we hopped on a train, met them at Union station, and spent a few hours together. It was a blessing to give her a hug in person and have some face-to-face fellowship. I hope God will cross our paths again this side of glory. Don't they make a nice couple? Sisters in Christ

On Sunday evening, several ladies from my church were discussing the hindrances to building relationships with one another. Yeah, we're busy. Yeah, we need to get to know one another better. Those are valid things to consider, but I think this quote gives a deeper, heart-level assessment of the problem: Perhaps our relationships are terminally casual because we're not willing to disclose what's at the heart level. Perhaps nobody dares to ask. Maybe we're unsure of how we are really doing. Maybe we're not willing to hear from others how they are really doing. Maybe we're afraid of the truth  - that it would overwhelm us. Maybe we're insecure because we've been burned in the past. Maybe we're selfishly absorbed with what goes on in our own hearts. Maybe we're just ignorant of the beauty of self-disclosure shared for the sake of the gospel. Maybe we'd rather cling to our assumptions of others. Sometimes we're so wrapped up in our own p...

Literally... Many thanks to my dear friend, Trisha , for this unexpected surprise.

I don't have much time for a long post as there's a pile of work almost as big as the pile of leaves in the yard. But... We had a wonderful with family over Thanksgiving.  It was relaxing visit with tons of good food. I always seem to get back in touch with my Chinese stomach when I go home. We were able to meet Vicki ( A Good Finish ) on the way up. On the way home, we were able to say "hi" to a brother from our church who is working as Santa at the Christiana Mall . However as much as I love my family, it's good to be home. It was good to sleep in my own bed, pet the bunnies, sort through the emails, and catch up with the blogsphere. I'm looking forward to seeing some of my church family tomorrow night and on Sunday morning. I realize more than ever the theological differences with my family over some pretty basic doctrines. On the one hand, I'm oh so very thankful they are believers, but my love for them and for biblical truth wouldn't be wo...

Outside the Mayflower Hotel after tea Thanks to Stephanie for the photo It's hard to condense our very full week-end in D.C. But here are a few highlights: - Traveling to D.C. with Melissa and the fellowship on the way. I was disappointed that Amtrak divided the passengers by destination on our return trip, so we weren't able to travel home together. - Meeting Trina, Christine , Ruth, Teresa , Stephanie , Elizabeth and Tony, and Diana and Pete and their charming son, Harry. - Navigating the Metro with only one mishap. Due to too much chin-wagging, a few got off in time leaving the rest of us stuck on the train. We learned our lesson. - Having "known" these sisters to varying degrees, it was a blessing to learn a little of their stories and how they found one another over the Internet. We were relatively new to the group but felt right at home, which is a lot coming from an introvert like me. - Very posh tea at the Mayflower Hotel complete with clo...

We had an unexpected blessing this evening.  We got to meet Trisha and her sons, Inkslinger & Jedidiah!   Trisha is as lovely in person as on her blog, and it was like reconnecting with a close friend.    Our 2 hours of full, sweet fellowship flew by before it was time for us to head home.  I am so thankful to the Lord for His kindness in allowing us to meet face to face.  I hope and pray there will be more opportunities in the future.

You've been unjustly accused.  You go to your best friend for prayer.  What does she say? "Cheer up!  You're worse than that.  In fact, we're worse than we even realize." What?!  Is that good news?  Is that something to lift one's heart? It certainly is when she continues.  "Cheer up!  God loves you.  He has forgiven you in Christ.  Your standing is in Him not because of your behavior." A situation came up where everything in me wanted to rise up and defend myself.  I was awake for part of the night praying and, I admit, stewing about it.  In the back of my mind I'm thinking, "What is so-and-so going to think of me ?"  Also I'm thinking what can  I  do to make the situation right? Pride and unbelief are so sneaky, aren't they?  Pride is wanting to maintain my reputation, to have everyone believe the best of me.  I don't have any problem admitting I'm depraved and sinful, I just don't want cert...

THOU SHALT NOT PANIC ! If I had a dollar for every time I projected future evil on the horizon, I'd be a wealthy woman, unfortunately. I don't know what it is (well actually I do - it's known as the indwelling sin of unbelief) but something happens and BOOM! it's as though there is no God in the universe and my fears are looming over me as big as Goliath. Thank God for sisters in Christ who very gently but firmly give me a virtual slap upside the head. Thanks, Sue, for reminding me to believe and trust in a faithful God who is in control. Another good reminder from C.H. Spurgeon: Oh, tempest-tossed believer, it is a happy trouble that drives thee to thy Father! Now that thou hast only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full confidence in Him. Dishonour not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and fears, but be strong in faith, giving glory to God.