Tried With Fire

It's hard to believe that it has been ten years. Ten years since his car pulled out of the driveway Ten years since he moved out of the house. Happy Valentine's Day! But not for me. At the time, I didn't know how I would survive emotionally, financially, and spiritually. I didn't know how I would recover from the betrayal and the pain. How could I possibly go on, let alone be there for our child? Looking back, it was only the grace of God that enabled me to get up each morning, not knowing what the future would bring, and stumble through the daily routine, even though the thought of living seemed to mock me. It was His grace that carried me through the added hell of complicated legal proceedings that only compounded the emotional devastation. Yet, here I am today a decade later and I'm still alive, probably living more freely than I ever have before. - Ten years ago, I was living in fear. Now I am at peace. - I was bound. Now I am free. For anyone hyperventila...

There are days when my head is a little clearer of spiritual fogginess. Those are the days that I would gladly tell the Lord that it doesn't matter what happens to me as long as He is glorified. But sometimes the fog creeps in and I have those moments when I ask, "Why me?" Does this ever happen to you? I woke up with one such moment this morning. Sometimes, I am so weary of my situation being dragged out with no resolution. Sometimes, I get frustrated when it seems that justice has not been served. When it seems as though nothing is happening, I begin to assume that God is doing nothing. It's like spiritual Alzheimer's comes over me and I forget too quickly God's providence, His sovereignty, His provision, His comfort, His promises, and His love. Before I got out of bed, I began to recount God's goodness to me, not only my whole life but especially these last two and a half years. When I remembered His specific faithfulness, I was so ashamed of my shor...