Tried With Fire

I saw this tweet recently from Ray Chang - "If your definition of loyalty does not allow for honesty, you may be a tyrant." And I would also add, if the people you look up to don't allow for honest inquiry and disagreement, you may be following a tyrant. This shouldn't be the case, but emotional and spiritual abuse can happen in Christian circles. Here are some warning signs that I have gleaned from my own experience and from listening to others: 1. Grooming and love bombing tactics used to draw a person into a group or into a leader's personal orbit. 2. Group loyalty is paramount, and a strong need for acceptance into the inner ring  is encouraged and cultivated in this environment. Once you've been included or are on the verge of joining this select circle, you can't bear to be left out. So this leads to a willingness to ignore the signs of cognitive dissonance and to make excuses for doctrinal, ethical, and character red flags. It is very commo...

I flipped through the New Testament last night and wrote a list of verses on the love of God. In all those instances in my non-exhaustive search, God's love was shown to us by the sacrificial and giving love of Jesus Christ, which ultimately led him to the cross. There's no way we could comprehend the perfect inter-trinitarian love of the Godhead. It would be more than we could handle or even witness in our fallen, creaturely state, but God demonstrated his love to us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom. 5: 8) I then wrote a list of verses on how God's love is supposed to be seen in believers, and there was a definite parallel. The evidence of God's love in our lives was related to our sacrificial love toward others, especially in the body of Christ. For example - A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you h...

Believing that all will be well if we just follow certain rules is common to us all. The question is what are we willing to overlook for that well-being? What will it cost us to maintain nostalgia or self-security in an organization? How much are we willing to betray others and even betray ourselves for the sake maintaining the status quo or obeying the leader? If disagreement with the powers-that-be means walking on eggshells or invokes a strong sense of fear, perhaps the system itself is abusive. Judgment begins with the house of God - not only for the leaders but for those of us in the pews. We may not wield power, but we can shore it up with our silence and idolatry of people and ideologies. Perhaps these recent shakeups in the SBC are demonstrations of God's kindness that will lead us to examine ourselves and repent. The following quotes are from  this article by Rod Dreher  on the SBC/Patterson scandal. It's worth reading for the insight he gives on why the ...

In the latest round of revelations, Paige Patterson was allowed to retire as President Emeritus from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary with a retirement package, a house on the grounds, and a stained glass window in the chapel. Just prior to this, the Washington Post broke a story of how a woman was raped while a student and counseled by Patterson to not report it to the police. Anger and tears were my first response. What were they thinking? Does the life of a woman matter so little when it's stacked up against the reputation of seminary? The sick irony is that a seminary is supposed to train pastors to care for the flock of God. Pastors who are supposed to be like their Master in laying down their lives in service. Was that exemplified? Hardly. Pastor Wade Burleson has written a post detailing the back story behind the Washington Post article. Read it and weep. Read it and pray that God will tear down the curtain hiding the spiritual abuse and misogyny in His church...

I wrote this nearly two years ago prior to the T4G 2014 conference. A shadow was cast upon that event because of an alleged coverup of child molestation by the leaders of Sovereign Grace Ministries. The person in question was convicted, so the abuse was real. However, there were still unanswered questions about how the situation was handled and the lack of accountability of those in authority. Here we are two years later with another T4G conference slated in April, and recently a pastor "confessed" to a sexual "incident" (his words) with a minor when he was her youth pastor. This was statutory rape. Period. The response of his church to his "confession" was a standing ovation. As a friend put it, "Don't people realize this was a crime ?!"  I wish I didn't have to ask these question, but I will ask them again. Several years ago, I would have been thrilled to attend Together 4 the Gospel. I had no pretensions to being a pastor. I woul...

"[W]e need to recognize that Christendom is a system which is partly merged with culture while trying to sustain itself separately. But Christendom, like all institutions when endangered, tries to protect itself. And if you doubt that, you expose a case of child abuse by a pastor and watch what happens. Christendom has used scripture to support or conceal slavery, racism, domestic violence, and many other cruelties that our God hates. I fear the Christendom today has become less interested in truth and more interested in power..." "Christendom is not Jesus Christ. Do not be deceived..." "Do not follow the siren of culture even if someone baptizes it for you. Its categories are not God's. Do not be seduced by the allure of Christendom nor heed the word of God when it is used to sanction something that is utterly unlike Jesus Christ... Know Christ so well that you can discern what is unlike Him no matter how seductive or the religious garb it wears......

Scandals involving Christian organizations/celebrities broke shortly before I went on vacation. I told my daughter it was probably a good thing I was taking an Internet break. I tend not to be a big "issue" person, but I make a very strong exception when it comes to abuse and any alleged cover-up within the Christian community. I thought time and distance would cool-off my response. Evidently not. I am still grieved and heartbroken. I get a gnawing pit in my stomach every time a fresh account is made public of alleged abuse within Christian circles. This not only includes abuse in its criminal forms but spiritual abuse as well. This causes me to wonder -  does spiritual abuse provide the necessary cover under which other forms of abuse can hide in a Christian environment? Having witnessed several incidents over the past decades, there is nothing so disheartening as Christian leaders sweeping sin under the rug. When the scandal involves celebrities, the news spreads far...

Forum of Christian Leader's  link for video and audio. ht: A Cry For Justice This is a talk by Dr. Diane Langberg given in 2010. She is a Christian psychologist and counselor who is on the faculty of Westminster Seminary. She has over 30 years of experience helping victims of spiritual, domestic, and sexual abuse. Dr. Langberg deals with the issue of abuse of power in the church and the home. She goes beyond the symptoms to the root - self deception that leads to the deception and coercion of others. I've been in a situation where spiritual authority was misused. Short of domestic abuse, I don't know of anything as heartbreaking as seeing church leaders who have been charged to uphold God's truth, deliberately covering up sin all in the name of preserving "the ministry." The talk is long and very sobering, but it is worth the time for anyone who has any measure of influence in the home and church, which is most of us. God have mercy and keep us from usin...