Tried With Fire

My daughter and I get to spend an hour or so in the car when I drop her off for week-end visitation.  We often listen to music or sermons or just talk.  One thing we discussed was conviction and repentance.  A few years ago, she came under conviction and was in tears confessing and repenting for a past sin.  She never forgot that instance and never forgot to be encouraged when convicted because conviction leading to repentance is evidence of the work of the Holy Spirit. This was a good reminder for me today.  I have my moments like the Psalmist who looked at the wicked flourishing and wondered why they can breeze through life with nary a pang or at least easily suppress any pangs.  I confess I am still waiting for lightning to fall from heaven and nothing has happened.  But I am reminded of the sobering words of Thomas Brooks, " God is most angry when he shows no anger. God keep me from this mercy; this kind of mercy is worse than all other kind of...

For most of my Christian life, I've had this lurking fear that it was up to me to make the right choices, live the right life, or else. If I failed, then I missed God's will. If that happened, I missed Plan A so I might be in Plan B or even C or D depending on how badly I messed up. This past combination of Arminianism and deeper life teaching was a double whammy because acceptance with God was based on my sanctification not my justification. There was always a question in my mind about God's acceptance if I wasn't living the victorious Christian life which was the result of a wrong choice which was a result of not living the victorious Christian life which was the result of a wrong choice which was the result of not living the victorious Christian life... So forth and so on. It was like a hamster wheel because I was trying to get to the place where I would be received by God because of something I had done. But the place I was trying to get to does not exist . Hence t...

me: I'll worry about that tommorow. daughter: Why are you worrying about it at all? Ouch! Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Yesterday, I posted a link to the Don't Waste Your Life Video. I've watched it many times and it haunts me. Probably because yesterday was the court hearing for the divorce. In the video, there's a character who is living large with everything that money could buy and then some. This guy has "his best life now." I couldn't help but think of my husband and weep for him. He is pursuing "his best life now" in his possesions and relationships but the path he is pursuing is a wasted life. But the waste is greater than the breakup of our marriage, the waste is when we treasure anything more than Jesus Christ, when we look for something to satisfy us when only He can. But I was headed down the same road of a wasted life. It wasn't fancy cars, homes, or clothes. It was marriage and family - the American Dream of the Ideal Christian Homeschooling Family. I believe God reached down in mercy and through this divorce is delivering me to find my all in Christ...

We had our first meeting about small groups tonight. I am excited on the one hand and scared on the other. Although we have been at the church for more than a year and members for nearly a year, I haven't gotten to know the folks that well. I am an introvert. I can make small talk if I have to but I would prefer not to. I would like to skip over the "getting to know you" small talk phase and go right into the discussion of theology. However, I don't think I will be able to skip that step. People aren't just the theology and the doctrine they believe. On the one hand, it really isn't fellowship to only talk about homeschooling or crafting or the weather or politics or children or family. But you can't share your life with someone without relating some of these other areas as well as the theology and doctrine. When we left the meeting this evening, my daughter commented that she felt weird that we just left without saying good-bye to anyone. I don't thin...

"Are we growing in maturity so our doctrine affects our life?" This was from today's sermon on Hebrews 6:1-3. This was especially convicting because I love doctrine. I always didn't. In many ways, I was ignorant of what I believed and why I believed it so I feel like I am trying to make up for lost time. I also have a natural tendency to become a geek about anything I am interested in. If something grabs my interest, it is natural for me to find out as much about it as I can. That's fine for most things but it falls short when it comes to God. I have a stack of spiritual books I am reading but am I reading them so the Holy Spirit can use the truth to change me or is it purely academic because my latest "hobby" is reformed theology? I don't want to be a reformed Christian geek in the sense of accumulation of knowledge for knowledge's sake alone. I don't want to treat the truth like a hobby. I want to be a believer who trembles at the Word and ...

This is from the Banner of Truth Trust edition, pages 50-51. We must hate all sin, as sin, and not just that which troubles us. Love for Christ, because He went to the cross, and hate for sin that sent Him there, is the solid foundation for true spiritual mortification. To seek mortification only because a sin troubles us proceeds from self-love. Why do you with all diligence and earnestness seek to mortify this sin? Because it troubles you because you do not have rest through it? Yes, but, friend, you have neglected prayer and reading! You have been vain and loose in your conversation with other things. These are just as sinful as the one that troubles you. Jesus Christ bled for them also. Why do you not set yourself against them? If you hate sin as sin, and very evil way, you would be watchful against everything that grieves and disquiets the Spirit of God. You would not be concerned only about the sin that upsets your own soul! I think, too often, that I hate sin because...

I have been enjoying, if that is the right word, the biographical talks given by John Piper. Today, I was listening to the talk on William Tyndale. During his day, it was illegal to have any form of the Bible in English. Seven people were burned alive for teaching their children the Lord's Prayer in English. More would be martyred. Tyndale eventually was strangled and then burned at the stake for his translating the Bible into English. I ask myself - is my Bible worth that much to me? Do I realize the preciousness of the word of God? Martyrs' blood was spilt so I can read my Bible every day. Do I appreciate that? Do I appreciate the privilege of being able to read the Word and have the Holy Spirit illuminate it to me revealing Jesus Christ? Hearing about how Tyndale and the saints suffered for the Lord puts things into perspective. I should have nothing to complain about. God in His sovereign will saw fit to allow Tyndale and these brethren to give their lives for His sake. ...

I was thinking more about what I posted yesterday. It would be easy to get discouraged by how nonbelievers and even Christians view God. However, God does not change based on our misconception of Him. His position as God does not shift because we do not acknowledge His supremacy. Rather, we are the ones who suffer from our lack of understanding or refusal to acknowledge who He is. Thank God, He knows that we would rather be blind than see Him as He is and yet He is merciful to give sight to the blind. I was comforted by these verses: The LORD is in his holy temple, the LORD's throne is in heaven: his eyes behold, his eyelids try, the children of men. Psalm 11:4 Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever: the sceptre of thy kingdom is a right sceptre. Psalm 45:6 Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now am found, 'twas blind but now I see. Yesterday's devotional from gracegems.org was by Jonathan Edwards. I don't think Edwa...

I was listening to this message by John Piper on John Calvin given in 1997. He began his talk by reading the passage in Exodus 3:14-15 where God declares Himself to Moses to emphasize the necessity for declaring the supremacy of God. The following ( emphasis mine ) stood out so strongly to me. “One who never had a beginning but always was and is and will be, defines all things. Whether we want Him to be there or not, He's there. We don't negotiate with Him for what we want reality to be. The arrogance of man! Oh, the way God is talked about! The arrogance of human beings as if we can negotiate the kind of God we get! When we come into existence, we stand before God who made us. He owns us. We had absolutely no choice in this. You have absolutely no choice in whether you come into being and stand before God and reckon with God. No ranting, no raving, no sophisticated doubt or skepticism has any effect on the existence of God. He simply and absolutely is. 'Tell them, I am ...