Tried With Fire

In Unfollow , when Megan Phelps-Roper and her sister, Grace, left the Westboro Baptist Church and, by extension, their family, one of their struggles was with their relationship. They loved and supported one another, but they never learned how to disagree. In most families, kids learn to compromise and work things out, but not so in their family. Total agreement was expected. "We had never learned to "agree to disagree ," because to church members, such a concept was blasphemous. Can two walk together, except they be agreed? What communion hath light with darkness?"  At Westboro,  every decision had moral implications. Every question had a single correct answer. Miscommunication required blame, and mistakes required punishment. My sister and I knew how to cajole, issue ultimatums, attribute ill motives, and assign moral failure to the other party in a dispute, but we couldn't compromise and we couldn't move forward without a resolution as to which one of...

I just finished Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church by Megan Phelps-Roper, granddaughter of Fred Phelps. This isn't solely a book review. I will give a synopsis with some quotes for reflection because it should be a caution to us all.   After being steeped in the culture of Westboro Baptist (WBC) her entire life, Phelps-Roper took on the task of being the Twitter arm for WBC. But exposure to those who disagreed with her began to chip away at all she had been taught. Some of her opponents tried to befriend her and discuss the issues at hand, not just trade insults The more she realized their humanity, the harder it became for her to toe the family line. She became more aware of the inconsistencies with the Scripture they professed to uphold, self-justifications, and mistreatment within the church and of those outside. Her whole sense of reality was shaken because Westboro's mission was her life . This internal conflict reached a point where...