Tried With Fire

I was cautiously optimistic when I read Pastor Jason Meyer's sermon " Fooled by False Leadership " last year. Meyer spoke on the issue of domestic abuse in Christian homes because of hyper-headship. Many Christians only acknowledge physical violence as abuse, if that, and have a very limited understanding of abuse in general. In addition John Piper (Meyer's predecessor) is probably one of the last people I would ever send an abuse victim to for advice , hence the caution. However I was pleased to read the following statements and several charts detailing different forms of abuse and naming them abuse . If these are the numbers for physical and sexual abuse, imagine how much bigger the problem is if you add mental and emotional abuse. Let me put this in layman’s terms. Do not say insensitive, misguided things like, “If it doesn’t leave a physical mark, then it is not abuse.” and Emotional abuse is a pattern in the use of words and actions to assault, reorder, and...

When the Doctrines of Grace found me, life was never the same. But in my enthusiasm for my new-found theology, I became a cage-stage Calvinist. I may not have been foaming at the mouth, but I was pushy and less than respectful toward believers who differed from me. Thankfully, the symptoms have subsided, but it's ironic that I was proud of being doctrinally "right" while affirming that it was all of grace. I also wonder if "cage-staginess" transfers to other Christian doctrines? The following is quote from Timothy George regarding the gender battles that have been raging in the church. I think his words are worth considering: 1. "What do I owe to the person who differs from me?" While we are not obligated to agree with that person, we do owe him or her love. As a result, we are to be good listeners, seeking to understand the person's aims and asking whether there is anything valid in his or her position. 2. "What can I learn from those ...

Black and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife: My Story of Finding Hope after Domestic Abuse by Ruth A. Tucker, Zondervan, 2016, 208 pages. In 1967, Ruth Tucker was a young college student. She attended a summer camp and met the ideal Christian single man - a tall, dark, and handsome Bible whiz, who felt called to pastoral ministry. She was swept off her feet, and the relationship quickly progressed to engagement and then marriage. On the surface, it seemed straight out of a fairy tale, but there were red flags that indicated something lurking beneath the surface. Those warning signs did not lie. Ruth found herself married to an abuser who professed the name of Christ and used the Scriptures to justify his abuse, hence the title of her book - Black and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife.  She endured 19 years of battering and humiliation at the hands of her ex-husband, often hiding her bruises with clothing. 1  After all, who would believe her? Who would believe that a pastor ...

First of all, read this article by Hannah Anderson and take note of this statement: Complementarianism might be better understood as one expression of gender conservativism. As a response to evangelical feminism, complementarianism developed and flourishes in a specific cultural context, namely a western, white, middle-upper class context; because of this, it will reflect western, white, middle-upper class assumptions about work, economics, and home... Consider how the Danvers’ Statement positions complementarianism against “feminist egalitarianism” (which itself was influenced by 2nd-wave feminism).  Insofar as complementarians formed their identity in direct opposition to 2nd-wave feminism, they became a photonegative of it. None of us should be surprised, then, that complementarians are asking “what jobs can a woman do” because this is precisely the same question that 2nd-wave feminists asked. But even this question is loaded with assumptions about class, race, and agency....

Sarah Flashing: As a complementarian, I am continually bothered by the lack of women in the church implementing their intellectual gifts as theologians, philosophers, apologists, ethicists, economists and so forth because I believe we have put women and their gifts, needs and interests in a box and tied it up—tightly—with a pretty lace bow. Because of the important role she plays in the family, there is often the perception that women’s gifts and needs are limited to the realm of the home. I am not suggesting that those women who abide in this realm are excluded from the community of intellectually-gifted women, many, in fact, are one and the same. But when “keeping the home” (Tit 2) is reduced to teaching women how to make pot-holders out of old socks to the exclusion of developing the life of the mind, then we run the risk of not only losing more women to theological wimpiness, but their children as well. All of this causes me to wonder if the complementarian community is losing i...

D. A. Carson: At the same time, I do worry a bit about women's ministry and men's ministry. Now there is something to be said for it, and sometimes you have to target particular groups, but have you noticed how many women's conferences there are that focus on the book of Ruth and the book of Esther? So that the whole conference is about women , and now we are getting men's conferences, men's conventions. I know I speak at them, but they trouble me just the same. These men's conferences where the whole aim is to be a hunk, to be a hunk for Jesus. Unless you really like UFC , you are definitely second class. Greek scholars need not apply....  I understand we are trying to fight the feminization of the church and all of that, but there is something ugly about that too, isn't there? So that at the Gospel Coalition Women's conference we are having next June...  it's not about women . It's a women's conference but it's about the gospel for ...

The role of women and men in the church and home is a can of worms. This topic is so emotionally charged that it's dangerous to step into the debate for fear of being verbally electrocuted. I occasionally lurk on a few egalitarian blogs (mainly for other issues), and it's interesting to get their perspective. At times I'm sympathetic to their position particularly when a complementarian spokesperson has made an insensitive, foot-in-mouth blanket statement regarding divorce or abuse, which are hot-button issues with me. But at the end of the day, these scenarios, as sad as they are, can't determine my stance on this issue.  I need to come back to the Bible. So I've been listening to the talks by D.A. Carson and Bob Yarbrough from the ECFA 2012 Conference:  Understanding the Complementarian Position: Considering Implications and Exploring Practices in the Home and the Local Church .  I'm part way through, but so far it's been very helpful. I appreciate the...