Tried With Fire

Culture and history are a powerful combination. It is all around us and affects our thinking whether we are aware of it or not. I was pretty clueless about this until I went through a dramatic theological shift from Arminianism to reformed theology. It was then that I embarked on a journey to learn about what I believed now, what I formerly believed, and why. It was difficult at times but worth digging up the roots of ideas I had taken for granted as gospel truth which were not. The journey has only continued, and since the 2016 election I am making a feeble attempt to understand the blending of evangelicalism and American culture that brought us to where we are today. My intent isn't to blame but to understand so I can be a bridge builder. It grieves me to see professing believers so sharply divided in the last few years particularly when it comes to issues of ethnicity and gender. Perhaps I can be someone who asks questions to get people to think about things they have not con...

I've been listening to I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) by Brene Brown. She is known for her research in the dynamics of shame, and this book is specifically for women and shame. I don't know whether Brown is a Christian or not. She doesn't bring God explicitly into her writings at all. However, her work is very helpful because it names what many of us experience and also raises issues that may hinder us as individual Christians and/or communities. In the section on shame triggers, Brown writes of identity as being a primary trigger but from two aspects. The first is desired identity. I want or need to be this. I want people to see me as that. If not, I have not measured up to whatever this desired identity is, which brings shame. However the second aspect is where she grabbed my attention - unwanted identity . This is the case where we are given an identity that is not truly ours by others. Growing up as an Asian American in an era where there was inaccur...

One of the questions that comes up regarding ethnicity/race is "Aren't we supposed to be colorblind?" I think the  following exposition of Galatians 3:28 by Michelle Lee-Barnewall may help answer that question. This passage focuses on the complementarian vs. egalitarian debate, but gender isn't the only distinction the Apostle Paul mentions. [W]hile Jesus's treatment of women was indeed groundbreaking, the notion of "equality" may not be the most accurate lens through which to try to understand the importance of his actions... Instead it may be more important to understand the issue according to the idea of "inclusion." 1 In this new community, distinctions are not eliminated as much as they have become irrelevant for determining who can be "in Christ" because now believers are children of God through faith rather than the law. 2 The three pairings in Gal. 3:28, which also include male and female and slave and free, represente...

Michael Luo, deputy metro editor for the New York Times, was yelled at by a woman on the street and told to "Go back to China!" This is 2016. This happened in a major city with a very large Asian American population. Here is Michael Luo's  open letter to the woman, which was on the front page of the New York Times. In addition, this is an article with some of the many responses to the open letter and a video of several responders. (Warning: The video contains vulgar language and racial slurs. The language is from the comments made to Asian Americans.) I won't deny that this hit me hard. I have my own set of stories to tell from childhood and adulthood of being mocked and made to feel ashamed of my ethnicity. Some remarks were subtle and patronizing. Others were not. I also remember what I said and did to make the point that I was as much an American as the next person. In some instances I tried to fit in as much as possible which meant acting like the predominan...

When I was growing up in the 60's, you could count the number of Asian families in my town on one hand. Consequently, I was subject to a fair amount of stereotyping. No, my parents did not run a laundry. Neither did they own a Chinese restaurant. We did not use chopsticks every night, hardly at all actually. I did not know how to do kung-fu, karate, judo, or any type of martial arts, although the kids still thought I could, which probably kept some bullying at bay. I still get comments occasionally from strangers who are amazed that I don't speak with an accent. I civilly set the record straight, but sometimes snark hovers on the tip of my tongue, usually a sarcastic remark that English was taught and spoken even in a strange and foreign place like New Jersey. This is probably why I hate being pigeonholed. I even take perverse delight in trouncing preconceived notions about me based on ethnicity, gender, etc. "You think you have me pegged? Well what about this ….? Bwaha...

I wasn't raised to think a great deal about or dwell on my ethnic ancestry. I grew up in a little town where you could count the number of Asian families on one hand. I didn't go to school or to church with people who looked like me. I was never sent to Chinese school like other Chinese American children to learn the language and preserve the cultural heritage. Consequently, there was some outward and private disapproval, because my sister and I were too American to suit some folks. This disapproval came from extended family as well as other Chinese American believers. My parents deliberately chose to worship with people who were externally different from themselves. They deliberately chose not to isolate our family based on our background. My parents were given an opportunity to make a new life in this country. Because of that, they felt it would be wrong to take advantage of those opportunities afforded in America and not become a part of the country that opened its doors to ...