Tried With Fire

Has listening without interjecting ourselves become a lost art? I finished listening to an audio version of "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown. Yes I know she is secular, but I appreciate her research. In my opinion, her strength lies in identifying patterns of behavior by listening to thousands of people, which is way beyond my limited scope of humanity. At the end of the book, she describes the research process and writes this - "When I code data (analyze the stories), I go into deep researcher mode where my only focus is on accurately capturing what I heard in the stories. I don't think about how I would say something, only how they said it. I don't think about what an experience would mean to me , only what it meant to the person who told me about it." (pg. 129, italics mine) This requires a lot of self-discipline because Brown has to take herself out of the picture and objectively examine what others have said. This goes against our defaul...

During the Theology Conference Q&A , Dr. Murray stated: At the core of all empathy and sympathy is humility, that you have something to learn from someone else... The first thing you want to do is just listen. I don't know about you, but this is the opposite of what I have done, which brought back memories for my daughter and me. I was not always the best listener nor the best learner when it came to helping her through some of her struggles. There are moments when she still feels sad over this, and I have more than my share of regrets as well. Thankfully this sadness does not mean that we have we have not reconciled nor forgiven one another. The sadness does not mean that our relationship isn't stronger and healthier, which it is by God's grace. But hurts take time to heal, and grief is part of that process. I don't whether it is just me or in the larger Christian culture, but it's hard dealing with sadness. It's a normal response to want someone to fe...

I'm honored to share this post at Kaleoscope . This was written with prayer and tears because it strikes close to home.  "Do you promise to love, to cherish, to honor, to obey, forsaking all others, in sickness as well as in health, in adversity as well as in prosperity, for better or for worse, and to cleave only to him/her so long as you both shall live?" These are beautiful words, but they convey more than sentiment. This a solemn promise of commitment to one person for the rest of your life. While this vow does not mean there will be no struggles, this promise includes working together through the difficulties, holding fast, and seeking the good of one another no matter the circumstances. These vows are positive promises  to do  something. To love, cherish and honor... However, if you look at the flip side, these vows are promises  to not do  as well. Do you promise to not demean, to not forsake, and to not abuse? Do you promise to not abandon ...

"[W]e need to recognize that Christendom is a system which is partly merged with culture while trying to sustain itself separately. But Christendom, like all institutions when endangered, tries to protect itself. And if you doubt that, you expose a case of child abuse by a pastor and watch what happens. Christendom has used scripture to support or conceal slavery, racism, domestic violence, and many other cruelties that our God hates. I fear the Christendom today has become less interested in truth and more interested in power..." "Christendom is not Jesus Christ. Do not be deceived..." "Do not follow the siren of culture even if someone baptizes it for you. Its categories are not God's. Do not be seduced by the allure of Christendom nor heed the word of God when it is used to sanction something that is utterly unlike Jesus Christ... Know Christ so well that you can discern what is unlike Him no matter how seductive or the religious garb it wears......