Tried With Fire

I finished reading two important books on child abuse – Not Forsaken by Jenn Greenberg and What is a Girl Worth?   by Rachael Denhollander. Two different women. Two sisters-in-Christ. Two different stories. Equally devastating and both offering insight if we would take the time to listen and learn. And that’s the thing. Taking the time to listen and learn. Why don’t we?  Why do Christians minimize abuse? Why do Christians get upset when you bring up this issue? Why do Christians justify covering it up? (This is just one example. ) This continues to baffle me. I tried to understand this from the point of view of psychology – Melvin Lerner’s “Just World Fallacy. “ I tried to understand the fear that would drive people to do this, but after reading these two recent books, I need to bring it closer to home. What would I do if this happened in my church? I pray it never does. In fact, I pray this almost daily, but what if it did? What would I do? There are two things that wou...

What is a Girl Worth? My Story of Breaking the Silence and Exposing the Truth About Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics - Rachael Denhollander, Tyndale Momentum, 2019, 352 pages. I stayed up later than I intended last night and finished What is a Girl Worth? . I had followed the Nassar case after connecting with Jacob Denhollander on Twitter. He shared his wife’s story in the Indy Star article – a victim/survivor who had come forward to stop an evil man who had been abusing children for decades. As I read the articles and watched the news coverage, Rachael came across as so brave, strong, and capable. Her training as an attorney was evident in the clarity and power of her carefully chosen words. But her book reveals what was going on behind the scenes – Would anyone believe her and take this seriously? Was it too late to report?  The internal turmoil and re-traumatization of having to retell her abuse.  Turning her private journals over to Nassar’s defense team knowi...

This is just my opinion, but there are two parallel issues regarding the Kavanaugh nomination. 1. Allegations against a Supreme Court nominee. 2. The societal problem of sexual assault/abuse. Regarding the 1st issue, this is out of the hands of the average citizen. Politics has compromised discussion about sexual assault. Both parties have been guilty of this minimization, so neither has any moral high ground on which to stand. (Clinton, Trump, Edward Kennedy, Roy Moore to name two on each side.) There are plenty of opinions out there, and I would concur with this article by Alexandra DeSanctis at National Review. However, the 2nd issue is closer to home. For Christians, where do we stand on sexual assault and abuse? How do we respond to allegations? How do we respond to the victims? These questions may not have crossed your mind before because it's easy to think that this doesn't happen to good Christians. This wouldn't happen in professing Christian homes. It wou...

If you are looking for the role model for a godly woman, here she is: WATCH LIVE: Victims of ex-USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar are continuing to speak in court during the 7th day of his sentencing hearing; Nassar will also be sentenced today https://t.co/KWY1pm3GPO pic.twitter.com/IyqpNJWGZp — CBS News (@CBSNews) January 24, 2018 ht: Wade Mullen on Twitter Update 3:48 pm - Complete video of victim impact statement. ht: Jacob Denhollander I strongly encourage you to listen to Rachael Denhollander's entire statement. She has demonstrated strength, courage, and dignity, but not just for herself. She opened the door for other victims to walk through and reclaim their voices that had been silenced for so long.  I hope Rachael's and the other victim impact statements will stop churches or Christian organizations from thinking they can deal with abuse in-house or worse, criminally and sinfully cover it up. I also hope this will cause those who, perhaps unwitting...

I wrote this nearly two years ago prior to the T4G 2014 conference. A shadow was cast upon that event because of an alleged coverup of child molestation by the leaders of Sovereign Grace Ministries. The person in question was convicted, so the abuse was real. However, there were still unanswered questions about how the situation was handled and the lack of accountability of those in authority. Here we are two years later with another T4G conference slated in April, and recently a pastor "confessed" to a sexual "incident" (his words) with a minor when he was her youth pastor. This was statutory rape. Period. The response of his church to his "confession" was a standing ovation. As a friend put it, "Don't people realize this was a crime ?!"  I wish I didn't have to ask these question, but I will ask them again. Several years ago, I would have been thrilled to attend Together 4 the Gospel. I had no pretensions to being a pastor. I woul...

Another story has come to the light of a youth pastor who allegedly sexually assaulted a minor in the past. In light of #metoo and #churchtoo, the issue of abuse isn't going away and it shouldn't. The church of Jesus Christ should be a safe place, but sometimes it isn't. Wolves come in disguised as sheep or shepherds. Sometimes our naiveté or unwillingness to learn about these issues makes Christians easy prey. Stories like this make me angry especially when there is a coverup involved. So these are thoughts that have been going through my head that I need to get out. - One victim speaking gives courage to others, which has led to arrest and conviction of predators. Isn't it better that criminals are brought to justice? Isn't it better that darkness comes to the light? - If rehabilitating the abuser is important to you, what about the victims? What will it take for them to go on with their lives? Are you giving them the same care and concern? - If there is a ...

(In light of the #MeToo hashtag and October being domestic violence awareness month, this is an update of a post from 2 years ago with a few edits and additions.) So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.  Genesis 1:27 If you asked me to define the sanctity of life, here it is: Since all human beings are made in the image of God, all human beings should receive dignity, respect, and the right to life. This applies to the born and unborn. This applies to male and female. This applies to all people regardless of their race or ethnicity. The sanctity of life is not based on the ability to function independently or even the value with which a person contributes to society at large. The sanctity of life is an issue of  personhood  because identity is individual and never subsumed by another person regardless of the relationship. I think this definition covers what most evangelical Chr...

Sexual abuse requires both deception and coercion or an abuse of power. The deception must first be of the self and then of the victim and the community. If it is to be covered up, then that deception and coercion must be continued by the system, which then is mimicking the perpetrator... When sin is exposed, it creates a crisis and crises do two things: they reveal character and they are also what we might call "separating" times. A crisis reveals character because in the moment of crisis, we do what we have been practicing. We display what we have been habituated. We demonstrate what or who we live in obedience to... A crisis is a revealing time. It reveals what is in the person who has come to you; it will reveal the heart of the one who is accused; it will reveal your heart to you; and it will reveal the heart of the structure or organization that is threatened by the truth. It is absolutely crucial that what is being revealed be seen and understood and responded to ...

Several years ago, I would have been thrilled to attend Together 4 the Gospel. I had no pretensions to being a pastor. I would have been happy just working in the bookstore. I was not young or restless, more middle-aged and sedentary, but I was caught up in the excitement of this new movement and would have loved to bask in the reflected glory of the leaders I admired. The thought of being with so many Calvinists, all talking the same talk was very heady stuff. And this was cool and doctrinally "right" to boot. Having come through a few difficult church situations, I was idealistic enough to believe that selfish ambition and putting an organization ahead of people would never happen. After all, we were Calvinists, and a good solid doctrinal foundation would guard us against such things. But as events have played out over the years and even this week , this has not been the case, and I have been grieved to tears. It's true that elders must be able to teach, but that is...

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 If you asked me to define the sanctity of life, here it is: Since all human beings are made in the image of God, all human beings should receive dignity, respect, and the right to life. This applies to the born and unborn. This applies to male and female. This applies to all people regardless of their race or ethnicity. The sanctity of life is not based on the ability to function independently or even the value with which a person contributes to society at large. The sanctity of life is an issue of personhood  because identity is individual and never subsumed by another person regardless of the relationship. I think this definition covers what most evangelical Christians believe especially when it comes to defending the rights of the unborn. The gruesome videos exposing the horrific practices of Planned Parenthood only emphasize the fact tha...