Covering up child abuse in light of the 10 commandments

I finished reading two important books on child abuse – Not Forsaken by Jenn Greenberg and What is a Girl Worth? by Rachael Denhollander. Two different women. Two sisters-in-Christ. Two different stories. Equally devastating and both offering insight if we would take the time to listen and learn. And that’s the thing. Taking the time to listen and learn. Why don’t we? 

Why do Christians minimize abuse? Why do Christians get upset when you bring up this issue? Why do Christians justify covering it up? (This is just one example.) This continues to baffle me. I tried to understand this from the point of view of psychology – Melvin Lerner’s “Just World Fallacy. “ I tried to understand the fear that would drive people to do this, but after reading these two recent books, I need to bring it closer to home. What would I do if this happened in my church? I pray it never does. In fact, I pray this almost daily, but what if it did? What would I do?

There are two things that would cause me to leave a church:

1. A false gospel was being preached, and no one was doing anything about it.
2. Serious abuse occurred in the church, especially child abuse, and it was being covered up.

In the first case, the church leaders are no longer shepherds but have become wolves. In the second case, the church leaders have opened the door to the fold and invited wolves to devour the sheep. This is direct contradiction to the biblical charge to preach sound doctrine and to shepherd the flock of God and protect it.

Is this harsh? I then did something I hadn’t done before – considered child abuse and its cover-ups in light of God’s moral law, not in general but for each specific commandment.

- Instead of authority being used for the good of others, it is used by an abuser to gain power and do evil. An abuser does not honor the authorities that are in place for protection of children. This violates the 5th commandment.

- An abuser tries to destroy the image of God in an image bearer. Jesus said that if you hate your brother in your heart that it is the same as murder. This violates the 6th commandment.

- Child abuse is the antithesis of sexual purity. This violates the 7th commandment.

- Child abuse robs a child of his/her childhood. The abuser steals what is not theirs. This violates the 8th commandment

- How many lies are told to groom the target community and the victim? This violates the 9th commandment.

- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s …. child. Is this not sickening? And this violates the 10th commandment.

- If the Sunday gathering is an opportunity to groom and manipulate, that is not honoring the Lord’s Day but using it for evil. This violates the 4th commandment.

- If God and his Word are twisted to ensure silence, shame, and further the abuse, this is taking his name in vain. This violates the 3rd commandment.

- What “god” would make it possible for an abuser to salve his/her conscience? A “god” made in his/her image. This violates the 2nd commandment.

- Who comes first? Whose needs take precedence? Who is really being worshipped? The abuser. This violates the 1st commandment.

Churches that cover up child abuse deliberately break the 9th commandment and would be morally accountable for perhaps all of the rest if there is no admission of wrong, a refusal to repent, no desire to change, and turning its back on the victim. Also what sort of the culture would be in place to dupe or brainwash a congregation to look the other way and remain silent? How many consciences would need to be seared to have business go on as usual? When does a church cease to be a church because of this unrepentant sin? If you think it is a stretch applying the 10 commandments, then just consider the 2nd Greatest Commandment – You shall love your neighbor as yourself. How does covering up abuse love your neighbor who has been abused?

These are my convictions, but I ask you to consider what would you do? Again I pray that I will never be in a position to have to make this choice, but I pray I would choose what is right rather than taking the easy way out. God help us all.

“It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil…”  Judith Herman (ht: Rachel Joy Welcher)

“No system, no matter how godly its goal sounds, that carries within it oppression, silencing, de-humanizing violence, arrogance, abuse and corruption is healthy – spiritually or humanly.” Diane Langberg, PhD