Lessons from the Empty Nest

Well it's been a few weeks since I've been an empty-nester. We had been planning and preparing for my daughter's move to grad school for a while. The living room was piled with boxes. Many orders were placed with Amazon. Friends helped us move the big things. We made trips back and forth for the remainder of her stuff, and then all of a sudden, it happened, and I'm now by myself. It's weird. I should be used to it with past visitation, but this time it's permanent. It's been an adjustment to the new normal. So here are a few things I've been learning.

Take care of myself - This is one area that I could let slide. There have been some mornings where it is nearly lunchtime before I realize I haven't eaten or drunk anything. Not good. I've also put off going to the grocery store and making do with what I have in the fridge and the pantry because I don't feel like venturing out. Again not good. I now have a better inkling why elderly people compromise their nutrition because it takes too much effort to cook or go to the store. I am not in that category yet, so health isn't preventing me from doing these things, just needing to discipline myself. So I am adjusting to a smaller grocery list, cooking for one, and cooking something other than just steamed broccoli.¹. I can't forget that I am body and soul, and feeding my body is just as important as nourishing my soul. This includes exercise, which I sorely need² because I don't want to become a fall-risk in the future. And besides, God isn't giving bonus sanctification points for aseticism or dehydration.

Human contact - I joke that I could become a shut-in, but it's a distinct possibility because I work from home. I would be quite happy to stay inside as long as I have my books, a reliable Internet connection, and something to eat. Thankfully last week, I needed to go out twice a day to feed and water six cats, so I did have interaction with living things albeit not human. But this isn't healthy. I need human interaction whether it is through church meetings or just getting out of the house. My living arrangements may be for one but I can't live as a solitary human being. Humanity was meant for community.

Letting go - This is hard and multi-layered. You never stop being a parent, but the relationship changes from adult and adolescent to peer-to-peer and sisters-in-Christ. Also the "letting go" isn't throwing my daughter into the deep end or into the great unknown. She has always been in God's hands first and foremost. His has been the primary care and watch guard over her life, and I marvel at his grace that is greater than my bumblings as a parent.³ I am sure I will be revisiting this lesson many, many times.

1. In my younger single days, I ate a lot of steamed vegetables for dinner. I don't recommend it.
2. Tai Chi for over 50. Don't knock it until you try it.
3. My pastor hasn't gotten to the passage in Romans 7 yet where Paul laments that the thing he wants to do, he doesn't and what he doesn't want to do, he does. I think parenting would be an example of this. So many good and right intentions. So may flubs.