Tried With Fire

Moms have super hearing. Your child can be across the house whispering and you know what she is saying. It's true. I tried this with my daughter, and she was amazed by this ability. But I guess this comes with the territory. When you're a mom, you're always on call, always listening, always aware. All it takes is a whimper or a whisper in the middle of the night to get you out of bed. Your child could be in a large group, and you recognize that unique cry among all the others. But what do you do when your child goes out of hearing range? She starts to take baby steps which get bigger and bigger until she's leaving the nest and flying away. I had my first taste of this last night when my daughter drove alone! at night! far away! (at least to me) to meet her dad for dinner. I think I was more worried than she was nervous. My vigilance can extend only so far because I'm limited by time, space, and mortality.  But isn't this the way it should be? As our kids g...

I thought I was prepared for the day my daughter was born. I read all the recommended parenting books. We went to all the classes, even the one with the C-section video which most couples skipped.  The nursery was ready. The bag was packed. It couldn't be that difficult becoming a mom, could it? For all my preparation, it was a big adjustment. A BIG adjustment. But I think the biggest adjustment was realizing how unprepared I was and learning to be okay with that. It was a huge change from being in control of my life or at least thinking I was in control. I was used to scheduling my time and having the schedule stick. Spontaneity and the unexpected were unfamiliar and uncomfortable. I worked with programs and computers that, for the most part, did what you told them to do. But hardware and software aren't alive like a baby.  But as time went on and through some tough providences, I learned that it's about dependence, not having it all together. It's about resti...

My mother's day card from my daughter.  I love it!

We had a relatively uneventful Mother's Day. Although the pastor prayed for the moms in the congregation, the sermon was on the sacraments of baptism and the Lord's supper. We didn't go to a restaurant today because of the crowds. My daughter didn't make me a card, because we have no idea where we packed the card stock. This didn't bother me. There were years when I felt my level of worth was based on the presents, cards, or flowers. But in reality, that insecurity may have been a hidden desire to be made much of. Having gone through divorce and inevitable custody issues, cards and flowers are of little value compared to my child. I 'm thankful to have her with me and grateful to be her mom. She is more important than the most elaborate card that she could ever make. I did send my mom a card. She would forget her own birthday unless she was reminded. I love my mom very much. I'm thankful that our relationship is first and foremost in Christ. We m...

This morning, several ladies from the church baked cookies and mini pies as part of food boxes that were given to 45 families in the community. It was a good time of baking and fellowship. All the ladies, other than myself, had young children ranging from 1 to 6. The kids did quite well given that their moms were baking all these wonderful goodies for other people. Shortly after lunch, the kids reached their capacity and lost it. Naps were definitely in order. As I watched these young moms deal with their children, it brought back memories of when I was learning to be a mom. It's not an easy task, and anyone who thinks it is should have their head examined. It's a task that is often thankless and frustrating. You often wonder if you are making any headway at all because it seems an endless repetition of correction and discipline. It's daily denying yourself, denying freedom, denying sleep, denying quiet, denying privacy, denying the desire for a span, even a very short span...

It has been an interesting journey these last few years in motherhood. Being a single mom has its unique challenges, but God has proven Himself more than faithful. Through this, my daughter and I have grown so much closer. We've been blessed with heart-to-heart fellowship as sisters in Christ, encouraging and admonishing one another to follow the Lord. We've cried many tears together but we've laughed a lot and experienced the joy of the Lord. These are some mommy memories that I will treasure: - "I've always loved you, but you're much nicer to be around as a Calvinist." - Being elbowed sharply or smacked on the head for reverting to hand wringing, Arminian prayers. - When she knows from the set of my eyebrows whether I am ruminating on theology or just worrying. - "You smile differently now that you're a Calvinist. You even laugh differently." - "I used to think that life was just about having a good Christian family and being happy. B...

me: I'll worry about that tommorow. daughter: Why are you worrying about it at all? Ouch! Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

This morning we had our regular women's Bible study. We're going through "Twelve Extraordinary Women" by John MacArthur. It has been a blessing and an encouragement to get to know these sisters. I am grateful that we can share our struggles and not feel like we have to put on a face with one another. There are eight ladies, counting my DD, a six year old, one infant, and five toddlers. Needless to say, there are always interruptions from the little ones - everything from a diaper that needs to be changed to dealing with disputes over toys. Sometimes it feels like we just start a question when one or more moms need to get up and tend to their children. But this is life. Life is messy. Life has interruptions. Rarely with small children is it possible to have an extended period of uninterrupted time. In some ways, the Christian life is messy. We sin, we fall, we pout, we cry, we need our spiritual diapers changed, and we need to be disciplined when we whine ove...