Tried With Fire

Well it's been a few weeks since I've been an empty-nester. We had been planning and preparing for my daughter's move to grad school for a while. The living room was piled with boxes. Many orders were placed with Amazon. Friends helped us move the big things. We made trips back and forth for the remainder of her stuff, and then all of a sudden, it happened, and I'm now by myself. It's weird. I should be used to it with past visitation, but this time it's permanent. It's been an adjustment to the new normal. So here are a few things I've been learning. Take care of myself - This is one area that I could let slide. There have been some mornings where it is nearly lunchtime before I realize I haven't eaten or drunk anything. Not good. I've also put off going to the grocery store and making do with what I have in the fridge and the pantry because I don't feel like venturing out. Again not good. I now have a better inkling why elderly people...

Last week, Lisa and Aimee got the ball rolling with their posts ( here and here ) on women's ministry and specifically where middle-aged women fit into the picture. As a woman in her 50's, I appreciate that my friends have started this discussion, so if you haven't read their posts, please do. However, I want to take a step back even further and consider what are the expectations of women's ministry ? I've broken this one question into three sub-questions which have spawned even more, so consider yourself forewarned. Who is the focus of women's ministry? The go-to verses about women's ministry are Titus 2:3-5, older women teaching younger women what is good. There is no question of the need to train those who will carry on after we are gone. But is this the sum total of what women's ministry should be? Namely, is the focus only on the younger generation? If so, could this lead to the possibility of older saints falling through the cracks? What is the...

It's my turn at Out of the Ordinary : At the ripe age of six, I was convinced that there was too much responsibility once you entered 1st grade. At least that's what I thought after the carefree days of kindergarten. I decided that it would be better to keep repeating the first five years of my life over and over again - an endless loop of play with a little bit of learning thrown in. Setting aside the theological problem of reincarnation, I had an inkling even as a youngster that with age comes responsibility. And now that I'm in the thick of midlife, responsibility weighs heavy at times. Perhaps it's introspection that comes with age, but I find myself stopping and considering what I've done with my life. What do I have to show for it when all is said and done? How have I been as a daughter, a mother, a sister, and a friend? What is the fruit of decisions I have made, and who has been affected by my choices for good or bad? Read the rest of the post ...

I'm sharing a quote from Lost in the Middle: Midlife and the Grace of God by Paul Tripp at Out of the Ordinary  today. It seemed a fitting way to wrap up last month's series on midlife. Stop for a moment and scan your midlife disappointments, regrets, and fears. Ask yourself what you have been hoping in. What is really worth celebrating? What is really worth mourning? Force yourself to use the values of eternity as your measuring tool for the here and now. Let eternity argue with the values of the surrounding culture, which says life is all about youth, appearance, success, material ease, power, and control… Read more here .

I'm posting at Out of the Ordinary today: According to Paul Tripp, one thing that is true for every middle-aged person is  our lives have not worked according to our plan.  He writes, "Our lives have taken twists and turns that we could have never imagined. Some of those turns have left us amazed and thankful while others caused profound pain and loss. In all our planning and our careful decision making, we are still caught up short, surprised by the details of our own existence." When I read this, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because life has  not  turn out the way I planned. As providence would have it,  most of the unexpected and devastating game-changers occurred  after  I turned 40. Not a very warm welcome to midlife. Of course, there is always the temptation to avoid facing the unfulfilled expectations and shattered dreams. Isn't that what lies at the heart of a midlife crisis? The world is more than happy to distract us with it...

In the Christian life, we never stop learning from the Word or from the circumstances where God has placed us. Midlife is no exception. Sure there may be the jokes and over-inflated expectations thanks to the advertisement industry, but it's a great time to learn God's grace, perhaps in different ways than we did 20-30 years. I hope you'll join the ladies at Out of the Ordinary as we take the month of June to write about middle-age and what God has been teaching us.

I'm posting at Out of the Ordinary today. I was inspired by an interesting Facebook discussion that Kim started yesterday. We middle-agers need encouragement too, but what do we do if there are no "older" women out there for us? Are we left to flounder on our own? Read more here .

I was taking a meal to a church family today and wanted to make something nice for dessert.  I bought some delicious South Carolina peaches at the local farmer's market and thought that peach cobbler would be just the thing.  I am not a very experienced pastry maker, but I didn't think it would be too hard.  After making the filling, I combined the dry ingredients for the cobbler crust.   I've had bifocals for the last few years which have helped immensely, but lately those little numbers, i.e. fractions, in recipes are getting fuzzier and fuzzier.  I read the recipe and put a stick and a half of butter into the dry ingredients and proceeded to cut in the butter with a pastry blender.  (For any experienced pastry makers out there, you can stop snickering.)  After a while, the butter didn't seem to be cutting in very well.  It also seemed odd that there was nearly as much butter for the cobbler topping as 5 dozen cookies.  After checking ...

I've been thinking about the phrase "Young, restless, reformed." I'm sure no age discrimination is intended at all, but what about those of us who aren't so young, not so restless, and have recently embraced reformed (aka Biblical) theology? Here are a few suggestions: MHER - Middle-aged, high energy, reformed MRAR - Middle-aged, reasonably active, reformed MSSR - Middle-aged, slightly sedentary, reformed MPCSR - Middle-aged, pry off couch with spatula, reformed MNQRTR - Middle-aged, not quite ready for the taxidermist, reformed Unfortunately, the acronyms sound like new strains of antibiotic resistant bacteria. (Yoda may still be spry, but they must not have taught spelling on Dagobah.)