Tried With Fire

I really shouldn't have started reading another book but I did. I found The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller at the local library in the new nonfiction section sandwiched between new agey, Oprahish books. It was a quick read. Although, I would have appreciated more scripture to back up what Dr. Keller was saying, I did appreciate his take on this very familiar parable. Basically, both brothers are lost. Both brothers are in rebellion to the father, using him for their own ends. The True Elder Brother is Jesus Christ who laid down His life to restore both brothers back to the Father. In contrast, I had read What's So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey two years ago. At the time, I was swept away by the touchy, feely, warm fuzzy version of grace. The impression I got from that book was that grace is always nice, it is wrong to make anyone feel bad about what they have done, and one should never judge. The implication is that all we need to do is be nice and we will win back th...

This post by Kim of Upward Call is so true. It's ironic in a sad way that although most Christians would agree that the worship of God is the main focus of the Sunday service, how much does 21st century Christianity downplay who He really is? Does God have a PR problem where His character needs to be soft pedaled to make Him more palatable? Does He have a bad user interface and needs to be made more user friendly? I would think the problem isn't with God but with us. Many popular Christian songs use the words awe and awesome . Do we want to be awestruck by the presence of God? Do we want to see the Lord like Isaiah did in all His holiness and at the same time be struck with our sinfulness in His presence? Don't even get me started on Esther choruses - the ones where God's name is not mentioned but only implied. This dates me, but ever since You Light Up My Life was touted as a Christian song, I've had a distinct aversion to those kind of songs. I think the Triune...

Bradford pear blossoms Our Bradford pear trees Early spring is a beautiful time in Virginia, especially before the pines and oaks drop their pollen. The Bradford pears are so pretty but their blooms don't last very long. Already, we see a shower of petal snow everytime the wind blows. The bees were taking advantage of the blooms. The trees were literally buzzing with activity when I took these pictures today.

The definition of thrashing: In a virtual memory system, it is the excessive swapping of pages of data between memory and the hard disk, causing the application to respond more slowly. The term may also be used to refer to any situation in which multiple processes are competing for the same resource, and the excessive swapping back and forth between connections causes a slowdown. (Taken from Computer Desktop Encyclopedia) I feel like my life has been in a state of thrashing. So many things have been going on that all my energy seems to be occupied swapping one task for the other in a less than efficient way. It has been a busy month with homeschooling, administering the Iowa tests to my daughter, working part-time, more church related activities, a sick guinea pig who needed multiple visits to the vet, dealing with legal matters related to the divorce, and just normal everyday life. On the one hand it seems as though my activities have accelerated. At the same time I am thankful that I...

First, the self movement assumes, in a way biblical faith cannot, that human beings are essentially innocent. That in fact is what a great majority of Americans believe. This goes to the heart of American individualism, which believes that one's self-definition is a matter of private choice and, it turns out, this choice is unencumbered by the gravitational pull, and misdirection, of sin. It is all a matter of choice and not of nature. This is the heart of the self movement, and it is anathema to biblical faith. The majesty of God's forgiveness is lost entirely when we lose what has to be forgiven. What has to be forgiven is not just what we do but who we are , not just our sinning but our sinfulness, not just our choices but what we have chosen in place of God. This belief in our inherent innocence is belied by the kind of life we all experience, and, more importantly, it is also contradicted by Scripture. May I gently suggest that the reason is that the essence of pride...

When I was a child, we were encouraged to memorize a verse every week for Sunday school. If you recited your verse correctly, your reward was candy. There was a large goldfish bowl filled with Tootsie Rolls and you could put your greedy little hand in the bowl and grab the reward. Looking back on it, I wonder about that sort of incentive. It seems to appeal to the baser instinct of greed in all of us to try and grab as much candy as possible. Isn't learning the Word a reward in itself? Another incentive that was tried was offering a prize to whoever read the most chapters. I won. The prize was a nice pink leather wallet. But did I really read what I read? Probably not. From an early age, I could speed read so it was a piece of cake to read as much as I could. Today, I don't have the incentive of candy and neither is a prize being offered but there is something more intangible and just as bad, if not worse. It's pride. I started out the year with the desire to follow the ...

We had our first meeting about small groups tonight. I am excited on the one hand and scared on the other. Although we have been at the church for more than a year and members for nearly a year, I haven't gotten to know the folks that well. I am an introvert. I can make small talk if I have to but I would prefer not to. I would like to skip over the "getting to know you" small talk phase and go right into the discussion of theology. However, I don't think I will be able to skip that step. People aren't just the theology and the doctrine they believe. On the one hand, it really isn't fellowship to only talk about homeschooling or crafting or the weather or politics or children or family. But you can't share your life with someone without relating some of these other areas as well as the theology and doctrine. When we left the meeting this evening, my daughter commented that she felt weird that we just left without saying good-bye to anyone. I don't thin...

- "[B]ut the truth that if you actually love you will actually suffer is something we Christians should know best." This quote is from a great post by Frank Turk on TeamPyro. This hit home because the church is getting to ready to embark on small groups. There is a lot of excitement because so many people have been visiting and joining in the last 6 months. In July 2008, there may have been 30 on a good Sunday. Now, all the pews are starting to get filled. Right now we're all smiling, nice, and congenial but are we or rather am I willing to get beyond the smiley, nice, warm fuzzies and be willing to be hurt for the sake of loving my brethren in Christ? It's scary to be vulnerable, letting my sin be exposed and open to correction, possible conflicts in the future, etc. But what's worse is the thought that everyone will go on being nice, congenial, and safe but without any impact on each other or those in the community around us. It's easy for me to measure out...

This is another great cartoon by Eddie Eddings at Calvinistic Cartoons .

I wrote a novel for NaNoWriMo 2006. The story was a combination of Doctor Who and Jane Austen fan fiction. The Doctor, in his Chris Eccleston regeneration, takes a new companion to a Jane Austen virtual reality theme park in the 35th century that is being sabotaged by unknown enemies. There is a minor tribute to the mice of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, my pet bunnies make a cameo appearance, as does the mafia and Interpol. The Daleks and the Slitheens show up as some of the villains. Davros proposes to Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Sadly, he is rejected and is destined to nurse a broken heart the rest of his life. All in all, it was a very strange story and did not take itself seriously but I did get my 50000 words completed by November 30. My daughter read my novel last week and thought it was a hoot. I don't think she knew how odd my humor could be. She has come up with an idea for another story where we both go on the Tardis with the Doctor and Rose. We haven't de...

Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them. Hebrews 7:25 This is part of the text from Sunday's sermon by Pastor Ryan. Praise God for the faithful preaching of His word. The following are from my notes: - This verse is our foundation if we struggle with our sinfulness. - Think of all that we are saved from. - Think of all that we are saved to. - He is able to save in an absolute sense for all time. -If we have fallen in sin, draw near. We will be drawing near until the day we die. - His intercession is our preservation. - That we even draw near is because Christ intercedes for us. - He pleads Himself before the throne of God. He doesn't plead us or our merit but His own work and righteousness. - No sin is more powerful than Christ's ability. If we wrestle thinking that we have sinned too much or too badly, repent of arrogance that thinks there is something that Christ's...

We said goodbye to Squeaky this morning. His condition rapidly worsened to the point where he was not eating or drinking anything except water by syringe. He might have had serious issues with his kidneys based on the ultrasound. The poor piggy was so miserable and there was nothing more that we could do. He is survived by his son, Rusty AKA Plumpy. I think Rusty will do fine but we'll keep an eye on him. We'll miss his little furry face and his loud squeaks for food. Squeaky was a good pet and we were glad to have him for nearly three years.

Pastor Ryan's sermon can be found here and here. From my notes: The old covenant had a mediator but there was no guarantee the people would keep the law. High priest after high priest would mediate for the people but they could never guarantee anything. But Christ - He is the guarantee to us the God will fulfill his promise. He is our guarantee to God that those who are in Him are perfectly acceptable. Look to Christ, seek no other. This was so clear. I had been raised with the idea that " we are accepted, but are we acceptable "? Basically, it's a confusion of justification and sanctification. Somehow our standing and our acceptability to God was dependent on us. In fact to split hairs between being accepted and being acceptable, was just another flavor of two-tiered, nonlordship salvation. But praise God, Jesus Christ is our guarantee to God that we are acceptable, not because of anything we have done, but based on Him alone. Nothing to be added, noth...

This is a picture of Squeaky, the guinea pig, when we first adopted him in August 2006. He's a bit skinnier now with his multiple illnesses. Since last spring, he has been in and out of the vet's with 2 URI's and 2 UTI's. The vet diagnosed bladder sludge as the cause of his latest UTI. Consequently, Squeaky is on his second round of antibiotics and taking Metacam for the pain. There isn't definitive treatment for this condition so we can only do the best we can for him. It is strange how we humans get attached to animals. I know that they are just animals and probably their sole existence is for this time alone. (I do not believe that I will see Matthew and Toby, our two departed bunnies, waiting for me at the pearly gates.) Yet, it is hard to see Squeaky suffer and hear his little cries of pain. I guess I am a pushover for a cute furry face. But our Heavenly Father knows when one sparrow falls. He knows and has ordained the days for even this little gui...

A group from church went skiing on Saturday. Although we had to get up at 3:45 AM, the trip was a lot of fun. It was so warm that the snow was more like mashed potatoes. I didn't even make an attempt at skiing. I tried once many moons ago and knew that I am probably past the age to try learning again. My daughter gave it her best shot but the snow conditions and learning without a lesson didn't work to well. She did have a great time snow tubing in the afternoon. I think tubing is more my style because it requires no skill other than sitting. If we go again, I think I will give it a try. It was also fun to go with the folks from church. We are still relatively new so it was good to get to know one another a little bit more outside of a meeting. I spent the day reading, listening to some sermons, and knitting while most of the folks were playing in the snow. It was also interesting to observe the surroundings and the people. For the day trippers, there was a locker room where yo...

During dinner, my daughter said that when she looked at pictures of me in the past, I looked like an Arminian. I asked her why? She said, "You never looked like you were at peace. You always looked like you were unsettled about something. But now, you look like a Calvinist. You don't have that discontented look anymore. " Another interesting thing she said was " Now you smile like a Calvinist, not just because someone told you to say cheese ." I definitely was an Arminian prior to 2008. A change took place where now I love the doctrines of grace and find such peace and joy in God's sovereignty. The change is so great it is almost akin to being born again, again. The means of that change was the break up of my marriage. This is actually the first time I am even writing about this rather than just alluding to some nameless trial. But then again, our trials are not nameless, amorphous things but very acute and specific griefs. Why the Lord would do such a thing...

Today's sermon was from Hebrews 6: 13-20. One thing that stood out to me was Pastor Ryan's description of Jesus as our forerunner. The levitical priest was a representative but not a forerunner but Jesus leads the way so that others may follow. He mentioned we are so familiar with these things that we don't grasp the incredible message that we can come near to God in all His holiness because of Christ. There is no veil anymore. That would have floored the early Hebrew converts. I feel like I am one "who has fled for refuge" and I have One who is my anchor within the veil, an anchor that is sure and secure. This afternoon I listened to Michael Oh's message from the 2009 Desiring God pastor's conference on "Missions as Fasting". It was convicting because I want to be safe, I want life to be secure, and part of me, deep down inside, wouldn't mind a modest version of the American Dream. But would I be willing to lose it all for the sake of the g...