Unfollow: A sober and cautionary tale

I just finished Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church by Megan Phelps-Roper, granddaughter of Fred Phelps. This isn't solely a book review. I will give a synopsis with some quotes for reflection because it should be a caution to us all.
 
After being steeped in the culture of Westboro Baptist (WBC) her entire life, Phelps-Roper took on the task of being the Twitter arm for WBC. But exposure to those who disagreed with her began to chip away at all she had been taught. Some of her opponents tried to befriend her and discuss the issues at hand, not just trade insults The more she realized their humanity, the harder it became for her to toe the family line. She became more aware of the inconsistencies with the Scripture they professed to uphold, self-justifications, and mistreatment within the church and of those outside. Her whole sense of reality was shaken because Westboro's mission was her life. This internal conflict reached a point where it became harder and harder to remain. Megan Phelps-Roper eventually left the church and is now an advocate for reconciliation across religious and political lines. Sadly in her questioning, she gave up on Christianity. But given the distortion, it had little resemblance to biblical Christianity. There was only condemnation with no free offer of the gospel.

One thing that shocked me was how they justified picketing the funerals of service men and women. I can't imagine how the families felt about those who were rejoicing in the deaths of their loved ones. But the scary thing is that WBC twisted scripture to back up their callous disregard for the grief of others. They could do no wrong because God was on their side. To be outside their particular church was equivalent to going to Hell. No disagreements or questions allowed. If you felt differently, it was just a manifestation of pride. I think it's fair to say that this was spiritual abuse. It was also a shock to me that the 5 points of Calvinism were displayed on the pulpit. Granted their position was probably hyper-Calvinistic, yet those who professed the doctrines of grace gave little grace to any but their own if that. Thus it was ironic that Fred Phelps was removed from membership near the end of his life by a select group of men who wanted to take over the church. So the authoritarian environment he created drew those who were power-hungry and those who could be brainwashed or bullied into following.

This was a riveting book that I had a hard time putting down. As much as I appreciated Megan's story and rejoice that she is free from WBC, Unfollow is also a sobering example of pride and its poisonous fruit. Commitment to the truth and love for one's neighbors should go hand-in-hand. One side should not compromise the other but be held together by the the Holy Spirit's enabling with humility. None of us are immune to spiritual pride, and we should beware lest we think we stand only to fall.

Here are some passages that stood out to me. Make your own application.

"Steeped in a church culture that demanded we disregard, dismiss, and disdain "unacceptable" feelings of every kind - both within the church itself and the community without - we became desensitized to the reality of the havoc we were wreaking on the lives of our targets. The only pain that mattered was our own." (pg. 78-79)

""There's something wonderfully liberating in the notion that you're one hundred percent right," my grandfather often noted with a calm confidence... That we could experience such a deep sense of personal shame and humility, saying with the Apostle Paul that we were the chiefest of sinners, while simultaneously declaring that God had given us the most righteousness and insisting that the world obey our understanding. Our position was inherently arrogant and full of hubris, but we felt humble." (pg. 145-146)

"At home," I continued, "we always equated love with rebuke, because of that passage. [Lev. 19:17-18] As long as we believed our words to be truthful, we were free to rebuke the rest of the world at any time, in any place, and in any way that we wanted. We could be harsh, and crude, and insulting, and it didn't matter, because everyone else was Hell-bound anyway. Those verses justified almost everything we did - including picketing funerals." ... "I feel so stupid saying this," I said, "but we really believed that it was irrelevant how we spoke to people. 'Gospel preaching is not hateful!' we always said, "Truth equals love!" But now it seems so painfully obvious: of course it matters how we talk to people." (pg, 266)

Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church, Megan Phelps-Roper, Farrar, Strous, and Giroux, 2019.