Getting past the facade

On Sunday evening, several ladies from my church were discussing the hindrances to building relationships with one another. Yeah, we're busy. Yeah, we need to get to know one another better. Those are valid things to consider, but I think this quote gives a deeper, heart-level assessment of the problem:

Perhaps our relationships are terminally casual because we're not willing to disclose what's at the heart level. Perhaps nobody dares to ask. Maybe we're unsure of how we are really doing. Maybe we're not willing to hear from others how they are really doing. Maybe we're afraid of the truth  - that it would overwhelm us. Maybe we're insecure because we've been burned in the past. Maybe we're selfishly absorbed with what goes on in our own hearts. Maybe we're just ignorant of the beauty of self-disclosure shared for the sake of the gospel. Maybe we'd rather cling to our assumptions of others.

Sometimes we're so wrapped up in our own pretenses that recognizing the real us is difficult. Sometimes even we aren't sure how we are doing. Sure, we may be polished and neat on the outside - we forget nothing, we're prepared for anything (how full is your purse?), not a hair is out of place, our living room looks like nobody lives in it. But on the inside, there's a messy, disheveled soul staggering under the weight of the facade we're building.

We want to look good in front of others, and we want to look good in front of ourselves, too. Somone once said, "A lie is a stab into the very vitals of the body of Christ." if we are members of one body, how can one member lie to or deceive another? How can we weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice if we are ignorant of the pain and joy in one another's lives?

Glmpses of Grace by Gloria Furman, Crossway, pp. 154-155.