I'm guest blogging at Housewife Theologian today. The topic of last week's episode of Mortification of Spin was emotional and verbal abuse in the Christian home. After listening to the podcast, I couldn't get Todd Pruitt's question out of my mind:
Many thanks to Aimee for sharing my post on her blog. I hope it will raise awareness of what may be going on behind the scenes. Also thanks to the Mortification of Spin team for tackling this troubling subject.
What is the dynamic that would prevent her [the wife in an abusive marriage] from going to an elder or going to a pastor and saying, ‘Please, please help’?I started typing like crazy, trying to capture some of the reasons why a woman won't ask for help. This is the result.
Many thanks to Aimee for sharing my post on her blog. I hope it will raise awareness of what may be going on behind the scenes. Also thanks to the Mortification of Spin team for tackling this troubling subject.
Hi Persis!
ReplyDeleteI'm a regular reader of your blog and I really like your posts. I appreciate what you say about abuse and I hurt for all you've had to deal with in your past. I was wondering if your story is posted anywhere? I'm really trying to develop my view on what the Bible says about divorce; I know you have said you disagree with John Piper, and I am very interested in hearing your biblical reasoning behind that. There is simply not much for the church that is written on that subject so I was wondering if you could point me to some resources so I can have a fuller view on the topic. Thank you.
Thanks for your comment, Hope. I haven't told my story yet because I'm not quite ready to revisit the past. Maybe someday I will.
DeleteI believe adultery, abandonment, and abuse are biblical grounds for divorce and allow the wronged spouse to remarry. Many evangelical Christians allow for the first two from Matthew 19 and 1 Cor. 7. Some would argue that abuse is not permitted because the Bible doesn't explicitly say so. However, abuse is a form of desertion even if the spouse has not left physically. It is a dereliction of duty of the worst possible sort because it is hatred of another person which is committing murder in one's heart. (1 John 3:15)
I agree with the scriptures that marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and the church. But sin can take a terrible toll where marriage becomes a travesty of God's original plan. By demanding the preservation of marriage at all costs sends a message that the picture, however degraded, is more important to God than the lives of the people involved. One in three women who are victims of homicide are murdered by a current or former partner. The church's counsel should not be contributing to those statistics. To quote counselor Diane Landberg, "do we really think protecting a home full of sin is in keeping with the sacred covenant before God?"
Here are links to two sermons by Pastor David Dykstra that address this issue biblically:
http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=512131540361
http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?sermonID=6213152424