Tried With Fire

This time last year, I prayed that God would restore my joy. My verse for 2009 was 1 Peter 1:8, Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory . God was faithful and restored my joy. He even restored my odd sense of humor. I probably laughed more in 2009 than the previous three years combined, even though this was a hard year emotionally. It just proves the power of God's grace. It seems like a lifetime was rolled into one year considering all that happened in 2009. I am so grateful to the Lord for upholding us through this difficult season. I am so grateful to the church and saints who have prayed and stood with us. As 2010 draws nigh, I am praying for hope. The coming year is full of unknowns and more change. I dislike unknowns, and I don't like change. I also realize that I am somewhat afraid to hope. Perhaps it's because the one thing I hoped and prayed for was answered with a "no...

When I came to my senses yesterday, I realized (not for the first time) that self is self destructive. I could believe God's Word by faith, believe that He hears my prayers, believe that He is absolutely sovereign, believe that He works all things according to the counsel of His will. I could believe that He is good. I could trust Him and rest in Him. Is that the first thing I do? Nope. What is my default setting? It is to disbelieve God and wallow in the sin of unbelief. Is that self destructive or what? What is the root? I don't believe the Gospel. In Sunday's sermon, Pastor Ryan spoke on the the blind man in Luke 18 as a beautiful picture of the Gospel at work. He also mentioned several things that are not the Gospel, one of which was "Jesus can save me, but Jesus can't keep me." That nailed it on the head, because that was my experience until the last 2 years. I believed that Jesus saved me, but there was no assurance that He could keep me. Not because ...

As in Martha Stewart. The house goes on the market January 4th, so I am in the process of getting it presentable for showing. Translation: Make your house look like you don't live here. Better yet, make it look like no one lives here. I know that this is necessary, but I also hate the phoniness of it. The decluttering is probably good, but I don't like the stress of trying to maintain normal life without being able to live like a normal person, just to sell the house. If you have a gorgeous Martha Stewart Living-photo-spread home, more power to you. I do not. I think my home is reasonably clean, neat, with a certain amount of charm, but I don't live like I am in a photo shoot nor do I want to. Martha isn't on a tight budget. Martha doesn't homeschool. I can't see Martha putting on rubber gloves to tackle guinea pig bedding or clean up after a territorial house rabbit. I ventured this morning to Walmart and Lowes to get a minimum of things to make the house more...

Besides, the joy here mentioned arises from this, that there is nothing more calculated to increase our faith, than the knowledge of the providence of God; because without it, we would be harassed with doubts and fears, being uncertain whether or not the world was governed by chance. For this reason, it follows that those who aim at the subversion of this doctrine, depriving the children of God true comfort, and vexing their minds by unsettling their faith, forge themselves a hell upon earth. For what can be more awfully tormenting than to be constantly racked with doubt and anxiety? And we will never be able to arrive at a calm state of mind until we are taught to repose with implicit confidence in the providence of God. This quote is from Calvin's Commentary on the Book of Psalms as quoted in John Calvin - a Heart for Devotion, Doctrine & Doxology , page 86. I am about half way through the book and am enjoying it very much. These excerpts from Calvin's writings are whett...

I was feeling a little moody last night, not because of post Christmas blues, but because my daughter will be going away to be with her dad for a week. Add some self pity to the mix, some circumstance-related stress, and soon my anxiety cupboard was wide open. To combat my "woe is me" attitude, I began to pray. I turned on my shuffle to listen to the Messiah and came across the chorus based on these verses: Surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: The chastisement of our peace was upon him. I opened my Bible to the Isaiah 53 and read these words, Yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted . I am ashamed of the times when I question God's love. But I thank God that He reminded my poor soul that forgets so easily. The reminder wasn't a warm fuzzy, Hallmark moment but a vivid reminder of the death of Christ on the cross. I wasn't just a morally neutral person...

Have a blessed Christ-exalting Christmas!