Tried With Fire

Forgive me for being blunt, but I might as well call it what it is. Perfectionism is worse than "You will be like God." It's "You must be like God or else ..." Perfectionism is a dystopian version of " The Little Red Hen " on steroids, where you ask for help and receive none. "Then I must do it myself or else ..." It creates a virtual reality where there is no God. There is no common grace and especially no grace to sinners. But it's a lie. All of it. This world is groaning under the curse and we are groaning, too. But we live as imperfect people in an imperfect world where there is a merciful, compassionate, and perfect Savior. We live in a world where this is true: The Lord is compassionate and gracious,  Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. ...

I started reading American Slavery, American Freedom by the late historian Edmund Morgan. This book was recommended in The Search for Christian America, so I checked it out of the library. I thought I was done with American history when I fulfilled my humanities requirements in undergrad, but I was wrong.  I'm not interested in history as a standalone subject. I read history because I want to understand what has led up to the present. We can vilify it, gaze at it through rose-colored glasses, but we can't escape it. How I see myself and where I find myself is a direct result of past events, and those events were not impartial nor kind to all people. We are reaping what was sowed whether we like it or not. But uncomfortable as it may be, the more accurately we understand our history can only help our understanding of one another. In a nutshell, I read history because only God has the right to think that He knows all there is to know about people and their experiences. ...

During the Theology Conference Q&A , Dr. Murray stated: At the core of all empathy and sympathy is humility, that you have something to learn from someone else... The first thing you want to do is just listen. I don't know about you, but this is the opposite of what I have done, which brought back memories for my daughter and me. I was not always the best listener nor the best learner when it came to helping her through some of her struggles. There are moments when she still feels sad over this, and I have more than my share of regrets as well. Thankfully this sadness does not mean that we have we have not reconciled nor forgiven one another. The sadness does not mean that our relationship isn't stronger and healthier, which it is by God's grace. But hurts take time to heal, and grief is part of that process. I don't whether it is just me or in the larger Christian culture, but it's hard dealing with sadness. It's a normal response to want someone to fe...

Dr. David Murray from Puritan Reformed Seminary was the speaker at our annual theology conference last weekend. We've had great speakers in the past, but this conference, in my humble opinion, has been the best. So many of us have been touched by anxiety/depression/mental illness either experiencing it ourselves or with someone we love. We want to help but often make it worse because we don't understand the complexity of the issue. Dr. Murray addressed our emotions, the good, the bad, our failures, and our identity but within the framework of who God is, who we are, and redemption. I am very hopeful that this will be the beginning of greater understanding and empathy in my family as we wrestle with some of these issues but also within our church.. Here are a few snippets that stood out to me: Emotions are pre-fall. However, we did not have negative emotions prior to the fall. Only positive ones. Our emotions are disordered because of the fall. However, God is redeeming ou...

I cried unto God...You led Your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron. Psalm 77:1-20 This psalm describes the condition of a child of God under deep depression of spirit. He is much tried and bowed, and yet, at the same time, the saint at last gets the victory and, before the psalm is over, the clouds are all removed from the sky and the heart rejoices in the sunlight of divine love. It is known to every believer that the experience of a Christian is very variable. We are like our own strange weather in this land. South winds blow and all is warm and balmy, but in a few hours the north wind comes, or the cutting east wind—and soon the ground is covered with snow or hard white frost—and yet, perhaps, in another day or two there will be a storm! Some believers have all spiritual weathers in a week. Being somewhat excitable, perhaps naturally, they readily take to themselves wings and mount aloft, but then as a high soar is often followed by a great fall, these very belie...

I've probably read more history in the last 5 years than in my entire life. It's funny how the things you thought were completely impractical are very relevant. History is awkward. It's very natural to want to distance ourselves from the injustices that occurred in the past. One reaction I have seen is for someone to talk about all the things he/she did that were the opposite of the situation in question or how his/her community was different. I get that. I'm not blaming you. But just because you or your community would have behaved differently doesn't mean that the event didn't occur. It still stands as a moment in time that we have to deal with. Sometimes it seems that American "city set on a hill" Christianity has morphed into the bunker in the hillside. It's a also a weird combination of withdrawal, very strong us/them mentality, and yet wanting to regain control via political means. It's also odd that a Christian subculture that is exp...

I've been listening to I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) by Brene Brown. She is known for her research in the dynamics of shame, and this book is specifically for women and shame. I don't know whether Brown is a Christian or not. She doesn't bring God explicitly into her writings at all. However, her work is very helpful because it names what many of us experience and also raises issues that may hinder us as individual Christians and/or communities. In the section on shame triggers, Brown writes of identity as being a primary trigger but from two aspects. The first is desired identity. I want or need to be this. I want people to see me as that. If not, I have not measured up to whatever this desired identity is, which brings shame. However the second aspect is where she grabbed my attention - unwanted identity . This is the case where we are given an identity that is not truly ours by others. Growing up as an Asian American in an era where there was inaccur...