Slang, n. The grunt of the human hog (Pignoramus intolerabilis) with an audible memory. The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.
Novel, n. The short story padded.
Pie, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Man, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiples with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
Pedigree, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendent with a cigarette.
Adage, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.
(Thanks to the InkSlinger's recommendation, I borrowed a copy of The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce from the library. No, I am not dabbling in the occult but enjoying Bierce's pointy sharp wit. Caveat: His jabs at Christianity and caricatures of minorities.)
Novel, n. The short story padded.
Pie, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Man, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiples with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
Pedigree, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendent with a cigarette.
Adage, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.
(Thanks to the InkSlinger's recommendation, I borrowed a copy of The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce from the library. No, I am not dabbling in the occult but enjoying Bierce's pointy sharp wit. Caveat: His jabs at Christianity and caricatures of minorities.)
Haha! Glad you're enjoying it, Persis. :)
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ReplyDeleteand Canada.
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