School's Out

I was printing my daughter's research papers on Monday, and then I realized it. We were done homeschooling. Thirteen years were over in what seemed like a blink of the eye.

I believe educational methods fall under Christian liberty and should be decided by each family, but I'm thankful I was able to homeschool. It suited my daughter's temperament and learning style. She thrived intellectually and emotionally. She's grown into a smart, funny, sweet-tempered, talented, and lovely young woman. But the homeschooling road wasn't always smooth. We're very different people from when we started 13 years ago.

My now-ex husband and I decided to homeschool from the time we were pregnant. I remember sitting at a baby shower, great with child, and discussing homeschooling with a couple we respected. The mom told us that sometimes those late night conversations over heart issues are more important than parsing a verb or solving an equation the next day. I filed that bit of wisdom away.

There weren't as many choices over curriculum, methods, and materials as there are now, but I was still overwhelmed. I had a good friend who was teaching her five children. She became my informal advisor on all things homeschooling. We even relocated to be closer to this family. It was a good thing because our kids formed a literary society, played, and dissected together.

But looking back, I have regrets. My theology was very different. My walk with God was performance-driven, and so was my approach to homeschooling. "Do better. Try harder. Don't make mistakes". I shudder to think how things would have turned out if God hadn't intervened. But intervene He did.

When my ex- walked out on the marriage, I was so grateful to have my daughter at home. We were able to grieve, weep, and have countless late night conversations. We held on to each other through the trauma. I don't know what our relationship would be like today if the marriage had been saved. I don't need to know because this was God's will, however painful. I was her mom and will always be, but we became even closer because of our mutual suffering and are now the best of friends.

God intervened in another way. After years of assuming the Gospel, the Lord brought us both back to that foundation. What a difference! And boy did it change our homeschooling. "Do better. Try harder." became pray and seek God's wisdom knowing that He gives it liberally for both teacher and student. It was also freeing to teach and study as unto the Lord rather than living up to my own or others' academic expectations. When we failed, we repented, believed the Gospel, and went on in Christ.  I could go on, but the latter years were definitely better than the former.

My daughter doesn't want a big celebration for her graduation. Our state homeschool association has a graduation ceremony next month at their annual convention, but we're going to pass on that. Perhaps we'll get an ice cream smorgasbord from Trader Joe's and celebrate with our small group. (Not tonight, though. I won't have time to stop by TJ.)

Community college is next in line. I'm thankful for a close, economical alternative while my daughter decides what she would like to pursue. My preference would be bio/chemistry/math. She has other ideas. But it's time for me to advise rather than determine and let her gain wisdom by making decisions for herself. We'll see how the Lord directs, but I'm glad He's already decided her path.

When all is said and done, it's been the grace of God. His grace prevailed over my educational intentions, pride, and ambition. His grace brought us back to the Gospel. His grace kept our faith from failing when our family was torn apart. His grace will enable us to trust Him for what is ahead. To God be the glory.