Attack of the Fiber Optic Cable Eating Ants

This sounds like the badly translated title of a Japanese B movie, but this is what happened to my fiber optic internet service today.

I lost internet mid-morning. Everything had been fine until then. I checked the outside unit and it seemed to be in order. Then I noticed that the "Internet" light on the router was red. I called Verizon. They diagnosed what they could remotely and then sent some technicians to check it out. The router had been replaced before so I figured that was the most likely solution.

It turns out that very, very large black ants had infiltrated the fiber optic cable box on the telephone pole. The technician said when he opened the box, "Really big, black ants started pouring out." Ewwwwww! He then said they had eaten through the cable. Thinking it was only one spot, he thought they could splice it. As they began to pull the cable out of the box, it came out in little bits and pieces.

Who knows how long they've been dining on the cable? I guess the ants found it very tasty, though I have absolutely no idea why. There's a nuclear plant 30 miles away, so maybe they're mutant ants.

So if you're on a picnic and you want to divert the ants from your food, just leave some fiber optic cable laying around. They may choose to eat that instead.