Back to school thoughts

We will be officially starting homeschooling again after Labor Day. Our intentions were good to continue Algebra through the summer, but it was not to be. This summer was hectic with longer visitations, getting sick, court proceedings, and the demolition of "the Shack".

I finally placed orders for some curriculum last night. I normally don't wait until the last minute, but I wasn't certain whether legal issues would prevent me from homeschooling. Thank the Lord, it's not the case. Given the opposition we experienced to homeschooling, I am grateful to be able to continue. I'm not a "everyone who is a Christian must homeschool their children" militant. This is what works best for our family for now.

I am looking forward to starting school again. We are starting Latin this year for our foreign language. I am also trying something new for history (my weakest subject) and tackling a survey course of literature. We will finish up Algebra I and move on to Algebra 2. We will also do Chemistry which is one of my favorite subjects.

The history and literature curriculum are Christian which is a first for me in awhile. I tend to react to Christian curriculum that is skewed towards America=chosen people of God. I also naively thought that secular curriculum didn't have its own agenda. (Yeah, right.) I think I have a greater appreciation for history and literature after reading David Wells. It never clicked until now that I am a child of my culture which is influenced by writers, philosophers, and thinkers of the past. History is taking on a whole new light now. I think I actually like it now.

Whenever I prepare for the coming school year I always wrestle through the same questions - "Are we doing enough of subject x?" "Am I pushing too hard?" "Am I too lax?" "Will she be okay when it comes to college?" I struggle with my desire for my daughter to excel academically but to not make academics an idol. I don't want her to be lazy doing the bare minimum to get by. I want her to do her best for the glory of God but not for a berth at an Ivy League school.

Many immigrants from Asia, like my parents, were able to succeed in America because of their education. Therefore, academics are held very highly and in some cases idolized. I could completely relate to Michael Oh's statement from the 2009 Desiring God Pastor's conference, "I can't live me life just so my children can go to the best schools and make a lot of money so that their children can go to the best schools and make a lot of money." I also realize that the temptation to look for security in academic achievement is in my genetic makeup. Maybe I'll never be a pushy soccer mom, but I have the potential to be a pushy biology/piano mom. I see my daughter's strengths and gifts and would love to have her be a success in those areas. But do I want her to succeed so my pride is satisfied?

The real question is - who does God want her to be and what does He want her to do? What if He calls her to serve Him on the mission field? What if He calls her to be a wife and mother and glorify Him by learning to live out Titus 2?

So after my annual wrestling match, I'm not any closer to the answers. But that's okay. I don't have to have the answers for her future. God does. I just need to trust Him to unfold it in His time and His providence.

We just need to seek Him one day at a time and do the thing that lies nearest.