Every small act of caring

I had gotten Dr. Langberg's book thinking it would arm me for my fight against domestic violence and help others. But I assumed I was further down the road in my survivorhood than I really was. I am still very much in the process of healing, and I needed to read this:

Returning to relationship after the shattering of trauma starts with the person we tell our story to. When we speak, we are heard. We are heard by someone who seeks to understand and feel with us. We are no longer isolated and alone in our suffering. However, we must eventually choose whether we will love again, care again, reach for another human being again. Trauma took away choice. Surviving and then telling our story returns that to us. We must choose what we will do with humans. We can hide, hate, or run from them, but then the trauma still has mastery. 

Every act of kindness, every act of helpfulness, every act of forgiveness, and every act of love defies the trauma... Perpetrators of violence destroy trust and care. Survivors can reclaim what was lost little by little and choose these things again. Part of what giving good or giving care to others does is to reverse the terrible feelings of humiliation. Violence makes us feel degraded, less than human, full of shame. Every small act of caring for others reminds all of our humanity, and there is dignity in that.

From the chapter "Living with Trauma Memories" in Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores, Diane Langberg, New Growth Press, 2015, pp. 153-154.