Divorce is a touchy subject. We have our opinions of what can or cannot be done. Those ideas may be based on scripture, the opinion of someone we respect, or even our concept of what is "fair".
Sunday's sermon was on the Mark 10:1-12 - a very difficult passage where Jesus answers questions about divorce from the Pharisees. Pastor Ryan made the observation that often our first response is to ask, "What am I allowed to do?" whether it is in terms of pursuing a divorce or remarriage, and I think he's correct. This question can be mere idle speculation about worst case scenarios from someone who has never suffered the pain of divorce. It may be the question of someone looking for any loophole to get out of a marriage that doesn't meet his/her expectations. This also may be the valid, gut-wrenching question of a cheated, abandoned, and/or abused spouse. I don't want to minimize anyone in the last scenario. I've been there. But I wonder if there are two different questions that need to be asked first.
Who is God?
Is He a God who promised me my best life now and exists to cater to my every whim? Or not even to that extreme, is He a God who promised that everything would go reasonably well just because I'm a Christian? Is He a God who sits on His throne wringing His hands because He has no idea what to do in my situation? Is He two-faced and capricious? One minute for me and the next minute against me? Does He show favoritism? Does He only care about my husband's happiness and could care less if I am made miserable in the bargain?
Or is He a God who is in control and does all things after the counsel of His will? Is He a good God? Is He my Savior? Does He love me? Does He love me enough to wean me off of idols so I will find true joy in Him? Is He greater and more valuable than my earthly happiness? Is He trustworthy? Is He faithful? Is He just and righteous? Is God's word about Himself true?
Sunday's sermon was on the Mark 10:1-12 - a very difficult passage where Jesus answers questions about divorce from the Pharisees. Pastor Ryan made the observation that often our first response is to ask, "What am I allowed to do?" whether it is in terms of pursuing a divorce or remarriage, and I think he's correct. This question can be mere idle speculation about worst case scenarios from someone who has never suffered the pain of divorce. It may be the question of someone looking for any loophole to get out of a marriage that doesn't meet his/her expectations. This also may be the valid, gut-wrenching question of a cheated, abandoned, and/or abused spouse. I don't want to minimize anyone in the last scenario. I've been there. But I wonder if there are two different questions that need to be asked first.
Who is God?
Is He a God who promised me my best life now and exists to cater to my every whim? Or not even to that extreme, is He a God who promised that everything would go reasonably well just because I'm a Christian? Is He a God who sits on His throne wringing His hands because He has no idea what to do in my situation? Is He two-faced and capricious? One minute for me and the next minute against me? Does He show favoritism? Does He only care about my husband's happiness and could care less if I am made miserable in the bargain?
Or is He a God who is in control and does all things after the counsel of His will? Is He a good God? Is He my Savior? Does He love me? Does He love me enough to wean me off of idols so I will find true joy in Him? Is He greater and more valuable than my earthly happiness? Is He trustworthy? Is He faithful? Is He just and righteous? Is God's word about Himself true?
This isn't an easy question to answer, because a pat answer won't do. I remember praying again and again often with tears and gritted teeth that I would trust God even if my current circumstances seemed contrary. I remember praying against myself because I was on a knife's edge between believing God was who He said He was or throwing it all away. But I needed to answer "Who is God" first because my answer had a direct affect on my motive and attitude in asking"What am I allowed to do?"
Second question tomorrow...
Second question tomorrow...
"is He a God who promised that everything would go reasonably well just because I'm a Christian?"
ReplyDeleteThat's a question my husband made me ask myself frequently a few years ago when I really needed to be asking it.
"Does He love me enough to wean me off of idols so I will find true joy in Him?" That's the painful question since it applies to all of us and the answer is "yes". Love you Persis.
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