My daughter was away for her June and July visitation back to back, so it was the longest time she's been away from home. Thankfully we were able to talk or Skype almost every day. When I hung up after speaking with her on Saturday, I realized that in all likelihood I will probably be alone for a good part of the rest of my life. At first it was a matter-of-fact acknowledgment, not a morbid pity party. But then the doubts started to creep in. "What will I do about [fill in the blank]? What will happen to me? Will I be okay?", etc.
In my right mind, I do believe God's will is good and there will be grace for whatever He's ordained. But if I'm honest, the unmortified part of my brain began to churn and fret. I could make excuses for myself and justify my right to be anxious, but the underlying unbelief that's coming to the surface is sin. It's a denial of God's character and questions whether or not He will keep His word. It's the same old, "Has God said...?", which is as good as calling Him a liar. Which is why I identify with the man who cried out, "I believe; help my unbelief!"
Providentially this story in Mark 9:14-29 was the text for Sunday's sermon. We learned that unbelief can occur when we dwell on past victories but fail to believe today. Thank God for when we did believe in the past, but we can't live off the fumes of past experiences. Unbelief can occur when we focus on the ability of others. Our security can't rest in other people, however spiritual they may be, but in Jesus only. Finally, unbelief occurs when our faith is the focus rather than Jesus. If we think we have to believe hard enough, I am saying that I need to do something to save me.
Pastor Ryan's last point is where I often stumble and is summed up by this quote from Walter Marshall, "Beware of trusting in your faith itself as a work of righteousness rather than trusting in Christ by faith." If I entertain thoughts that God's faithfulness is contingent on my performance, whether it is praying the right way or doing the right thing, I'm sunk because I will never get it right. But this is why I need to hear the message of the Gospel again and again. My standing with God is solely on the basis of Jesus Christ's finished work, and this security is what keeps me persevering and calling out, "Yes, I believe but keep on helping my unbelief!"
Addendum: Here are all the verses to Newton's hymn.
In my right mind, I do believe God's will is good and there will be grace for whatever He's ordained. But if I'm honest, the unmortified part of my brain began to churn and fret. I could make excuses for myself and justify my right to be anxious, but the underlying unbelief that's coming to the surface is sin. It's a denial of God's character and questions whether or not He will keep His word. It's the same old, "Has God said...?", which is as good as calling Him a liar. Which is why I identify with the man who cried out, "I believe; help my unbelief!"
Providentially this story in Mark 9:14-29 was the text for Sunday's sermon. We learned that unbelief can occur when we dwell on past victories but fail to believe today. Thank God for when we did believe in the past, but we can't live off the fumes of past experiences. Unbelief can occur when we focus on the ability of others. Our security can't rest in other people, however spiritual they may be, but in Jesus only. Finally, unbelief occurs when our faith is the focus rather than Jesus. If we think we have to believe hard enough, I am saying that I need to do something to save me.
Pastor Ryan's last point is where I often stumble and is summed up by this quote from Walter Marshall, "Beware of trusting in your faith itself as a work of righteousness rather than trusting in Christ by faith." If I entertain thoughts that God's faithfulness is contingent on my performance, whether it is praying the right way or doing the right thing, I'm sunk because I will never get it right. But this is why I need to hear the message of the Gospel again and again. My standing with God is solely on the basis of Jesus Christ's finished work, and this security is what keeps me persevering and calling out, "Yes, I believe but keep on helping my unbelief!"
Addendum: Here are all the verses to Newton's hymn.
Thank you friend. This really ministered to my soul today.
ReplyDeleteI needed this. Thank you!
ReplyDelete"...unbelief can occur when we dwell on past victories but fail to believe today. Thank God for when we did believe in the past, but we can't live off the fumes of past experiences."
ReplyDeleteI needed to read this today!
"I could make excuses for myself and justify my right to be anxious, but the underlying unbelief that's coming to the surface is sin. It's a denial of God's character and questions whether or not He will keep His word."
ReplyDeleteSuch a crucial thing to see, and how good of God to help us in our unbelief!
Being married does not do away with the same fears...especially as we age and when one (and then both) of us are experiencing the ailments that age brings to us. We constantly have to refocus on trusting that God knows all our days. Psalm 139:16.
ReplyDelete